Cheapo Bucket List

Moose Jaw Express.com - - National / International News -

Whether we ad­mit it or not, most of us have a list of things we would like to ac­com­plish in our life­times. Af­ter the movie was re­leased, we have called it a Bucket List. My bucket list is not nearly as grand as the movie’s epic list but at least my list is af­ford­able and hope­fully eas­ily ac­com­plished.

When we go to town we of­ten shop at Wal­mart. Ev­ery time I en­ter the store I look to see if the elec­tric pow­ered shop­ping cart/ scoot­ers are avail­able or in use. If they are in use, I keep on the alert be­cause I have seen lit­tle old ladies run amok in the store with wild aban­don. They have full-faced grins while they are ram­ming and roam­ing around the store, so a shop­ping cart/scooter ram­page is one of the things on my mod­est bucket list. I am still able bod­ied and I do not want to be caus­ing may­hem and de­struc­tion if there is some­one who is un-able-bod­ied who needs the cart/scooter…to cause may­hem and de­struc­tion. I will wait un­til I need the cart/scooter, but un­til then, I have lots of time to plan my at­tack.

My body is a tem­ple…in ru­ins, but I have re­cently been think­ing about get­ting a tat­too and that is an­other item on my bud­get bucket list. I have been con­sid­er­ing a few pieces of art to be inked on my beau­ti­ful alabaster skin and while my cur­rent fa­vorites are the Cana­dian flag or Mrs. B’s name over my heart, there are oth­ers to con­tem­plate. I have lit­tle or no hair on my head and un­less there is a ma­jor dis­cov­ery of hair growth tonic, I shall re­main hair­less for­ever un­less I get a tat­too of a beau­ti­ful head of hair, like Elvis’ or Fabio’s. I would add a lit­tle grey to the tat­too, so I would look my age and not look phoney. I have also been look­ing at my beer belly and think­ing there must be a way of get­ting rid of it. Again this be­comes a bud­get bucket list item. And again I can strike this item off my bud­get bucket list by vis­it­ing the tat­too par­lour and hav­ing the artist en­hance my belly by draw­ing a six-pack of abs on my gut. In fact, there is enough room on my ab­domen to draw an eight-pack or two six-packs. There is enough room IN my belly for a few six-packs, so why not?

My bud­get bucket list will in­clude the op­por­tu­nity for self-improve­ment and per­sonal growth. I have al­ready be­gun that process by ad­dress­ing one of my big­gest fears… the dark! I never re­al­ized how un­com­fort­able the dark­ness made me feel un­til we moved to Liar­ton where the street­lights are few and far between. I have al­ways had a mod­est col­lec­tion of flash­lights of all sorts, cur­rently num­ber­ing about forty. Is that too many?

I have be­gun to ad­dress both my fear of dark­ness and an ap­par­ent ob­ses­sion with flash­lights by slowly giv­ing my largest flash­lights away and by do­ing more things in the dark. Not only is the size of my col­lec­tion get­ting smaller but so is the size of my col­lec­tion…get it? This bud­get bucket list item may take a while to ac­com­plish but it is al­ready sav­ing me money in bat­ter­ies and I am down to about twenty flash­lights in the house… the oth­ers are in the garage, truck, car, tree­house, shed… etc.

My bud­get bucket list is never go­ing to end or be com­pleted be­cause I am con­stantly say­ing to my­self, “I won­der if…?” and then I try to act on the ad­di­tion to my list.

Just the other day at hockey

I was watch­ing the Zam­boni guy and I said… hmmm. Some­day I will be a

Zam­boni-ist.

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