Ru­n­away dad on dat­ing site is guilty of false ad­ver­tis­ing

Moose Jaw Times Herald - - WEEKEND HIGHLIGHTS -

Last year I had a baby with one of my col­lege pro­fes­sors. He left me 10 days be­fore our daugh­ter was born and has never met her. I chased him through fam­ily court, and he gives me the bare min­i­mum in state-or­dered sup­port.

Re­cently, I spotted him ad­ver­tis­ing him­self on a dat­ing website as a lov­ing man and de­scrib­ing how he loves his first daugh­ter with no men­tion of ours (he has two other chil­dren, a girl and a boy). How do I move past this? A part of me is an­gry for her, but I’m also an­gry for my­self. I’m in ther­apy, but see­ing him on a dat­ing website de­scrib­ing him­self as a good per­son, when in truth he’s a so­ciopath, has re­opened wounds I thought had closed months ago. him, but be­cause I don’t talk much, it doesn’t bother me. I like lis­ten­ing to his sto­ries. How­ever, I can see our friends get­ting an­noyed be­cause of his con­stant talk­ing. It also hap­pens when we are around his fam­ily — and they usu­ally end up treat­ing him badly for it.

Is there any way I can gen­tly talk to him about this so he’s aware that he is ir­ri­tat­ing peo­ple? I don’t want to hurt him, but I also don’t want him to an­noy peo­ple. I’m also afraid it may af­fect his em­ploy­ment. His co-work­ers get that same look on their faces when he’s talk­ing that his fam­ily mem­bers do when they are an­noyed with him.

Your fi­ance may have difficulty pick­ing up on so­cial cues, which is why he doesn’t no­tice that oth­ers be­come an­noyed as he drones on and on. You should ab­so­lutely point out to him what you have no­ticed, and tell him you are con­cerned that it may af­fect his em­ploy­ment. Then sug­gest he dis­cuss his com­pul­sive talk­ing with a li­censed men­tal health pro­fes­sional. This is not to im­ply there is any­thing “wrong” with him, but rather that he may ben­e­fit from pro­fes­sional help in rec­og­niz­ing the so­cial cues he is miss­ing.

Tonight is the night when wee witches and gob­lins will be out trickor-treat­ing. Please su­per­vise them so they’ll be safe. Happy Hal­loween, ev­ery­one! — Love, ABBY

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