If you’re someone like me who doesn’t particularly enjoy spending time out on the ocean, a fishing trip with your dad isn’t likely your cup of tea.
I don’t know about you, but the itchy salt water, writhing bait and dangerous hooks hardly sound like a good time to me. However, if you happen to find yourself with Dad onboard a floating death trap fully stocked with fishing gear, I have a few tips for surviving the impending ordeal. Follow my advice, and you will successfully avoid handling sharp hooks and touching gross bait while expertly handling a fishing rod like a pro. I can even help you make it seem as if you’re enjoying the experience, too!
Upon your arrival in the middle of nowhere, somewhere on the Big Blue, the first thing to take care of is the selection of a fishing rod and hook. Since your father is the real fishing aficionado, allow him the opportunity to help you make your decision on rod and hook. By giving him this excuse to demonstrate his expertise, you have also cleverly gotten out of a situation wherein a nasty accident with a hook may have taken place. Phew!
Next is the issue of baiting the hook. First, pick your poison— long, slimy worms; slippery, revolting herring; squirming, blood-sucking leeches; or any other yucky bait that is made available. Remember: Don’t puke! Vomit is not exactly an indicator that you’re having fun.
Having now selected the bait, once again, let your dad exercise his abilities by allowing him to pierce the bait and wriggle it onto the hook. In similar fashion to your initial hook selection, you have limited the risk of injury while interacting with a painfully sharp hook and dodged the responsibility of handling the repulsive bait… all while seeming interested in the whole process.
The actual act of fishing is the easiest part. Extend your rod over the water and let out a length of line; next, move your rod around a little bit so it appears that you’re really trying to attract a fish. This may be referred to as the “fake-it-tillyou-make-it” technique, but you are not, of course, really trying to “make it.” But actually catching a fish might be a bonus: You’ll get to act excited, and your father will be very proud of your success.
Abide by my tried-and-tested tips and you will be well on your way to breezing through the whole unfortunate event.
A fishing trip with your dad will no longer be an issue—you will survive!”