THE POWER OF PLEASURE
For many years, I deceived myself into thinking that the loss of my sexual appetite was only affecting the status of my marital bliss. Other than saving my marriage, it really didn't matter that I didn't ever want or desire sex. I could not have been more wrong. We live in a culture in which exploring our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual natures is fairly mainstream and acceptable. Yet, there is still much shame and disregard shrouding our sexual natures. This is very evident to me, as a result of my own personal journey, and because when sex and It wasn't until many years into the journey of resurrecting my marriage that I realized that not only was my lack of sexual interest affecting this sacred union, it was affecting my health, my relationships and my overall well-being. This wasn't about partner sex and saving my marriage at all — this was about me, saving myself.
Most of us are not taught that pleasure is our birthright. The importance of women's sexuality has been diminished by church and state over many thousands of years. Through the generations, we have been delivered a distorted, imbalanced, corrupt version of our bodies, of love and of our sexuality. It is a systemic, insidious problem. masturbation become the topic of conversation — which is bound to happen when conversing with me — people are either captivated, intrigued, hungry for more or they become uncomfortable, embarrassed and the walls of separation instantaneously appear.
The majority of women are not tapping into this powerful, natural resource that resides within our bodies. Most of us don't even consider factoring in sexual pleasure to the equation of our health, our well-being or our personal growth regimes.
We seek out and pay huge sums of money on coaches, therapists, alternative practitioners, fitness classes, online programs, mindset trainers, and on, and on
the list goes — and at the end of it all we still wonder why we are not joyful, fulfilled or exuberantly radiant. The reason for this is simple. We are not experiencing and deeply feeling the sensual effects of soul riveting pleasure.
The disassociation and discomfort we have with our deliciously sexual bodies contributes to the suppression of our becoming fully embodied, powerful women.
This is why it is imperative for us to include sexuality into our model of self-love and care. It is the powerhouse that fuels the whole structure and organization of who we are. It is the sun of our solar system.
When we hang out on the periphery — only visiting our emotional, physical, mental and spiritual selves — we are missing out on the internal force that feeds and connects the entirety of our beings. The magnitude of juice, energy and power of which we have the potential to generate — with our sexual pleasure — has a direct correlation with the ways in which we nourish our relationships, finances, careers, health, and creative endeavours.
In order to cease the struggle, we need to consciously bring awareness, intention and relationship to the physical and energetic fecundity of our sexuality. And it all begins with our sexual relationship with ourselves. It is the foundation.
When we engage in the sacred ritual of self pleasuring and orgasm we release dopamine, opioids/endorphins and oxytocin; we dissolve physical tension and stress; we strengthen our muscular system, which in turn supports our organs; we experience deep, intimate aspects of self-love; and we learn how to commune, journey and co-create with spirit.
When I emerged on the other side of my psychological excavation of exploring why I no longer wanted to have sex, and I stripped away all that I had been taught and had experienced about my body and my sexuality, I began to create my own reality — based on how I actually desired to feel about it.
How do you desire to feel about your sexuality?
When we explore our sexual natures, engage the power of pleasure and discover what truly turns us on, it results in genuine confidence, keen insight, captivating presence and the ability to create and sustain the lives that we envision for ourselves.