THE HEART OF THE MONEY MATTER
EVERYONE HAS A MONEY STORY
IT TOOK ALMOST A DECADE FOR ME TO REALIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF MONEY & RELATIONSHIPS.
My career was beginning in finance and my life was becoming the place to practice my passion. I have learned things along the way from books, courses, professional designation, but more importantly from practice. And while I can't claim that my husband and I are perfect when it comes to money and relationships, I can say that we have come a long way. We have shared our money journeys and we have come to understand and honor each other's money mindsets. We worked hard and our goals and values have aligned.
One of the biggest causes of dispute in relationships is the lack of communication around your differences in values, goals, and habits when it comes to money. Everyone has a unique money history, story, and belief set that can overshadow our partnerships and cause disagreements. Everyone has a money story. What is it? It is your relationship with money. It is all the pain and all of the joy with some fulfilment, all blended with the history of your life. Your strengths and challenges, the past intersecting with the present. It is vulnerable to confront the memories and put them together.
Becoming familiar with our own unique story means honoring the past, learning from it and then creating a new story, with abundance. This process is a powerful tool that will challenge your beliefs and help you transform your present day money story. This is the first step to creating a positive story that has you in control and feeling positive and powerful. Recognize and move past the feelings that are limiting your prosperity and your happiness.
My first money memory that had to do with the concept of money was from when I was about 4 years old. I remember shopping at the Salvation Army. I can still smell the mustiness and visualize the dark packed racks and shelves of used items. My mom was a struggling, poor single mom and we shopped at the Salvation Army for school clothes and shoes. I knew that we couldn't afford a lot. I knew that Fridays were a treat of fries and gravy at the Tasty Freeze. I thought that the 3-foot Christmas tree and homemade cut out holiday cards as decorations were beautiful. But, the used shoes from the Salvation Army that didn't fit properly, and especially the smell of those shoes, has haunted me. I knew that we couldn't afford the brand new light-up runners the other children had. I was embarrassed by my shoes.
My first memory is one of scarcity, meaning I felt like I didn't have enough.
FAST FORWARD 35 YEARS...
That memory helps me to explain why over the years I have too many new shoes that I may never wear. It has only been since coming to terms with my relationship with money that I realize that there is an underlying reason why I have piles of shoes everywhere. I don't necessarily ever wear them, some still have price tags and some don't even fit properly. I have finally been able to put together my mindset behind buying them. I now stop and ask myself why I am truly buying these shoes or feel the need for more.
What is the true WHY behind this purchase? What hole or void am I trying to fill?
Now don't get me wrong. I have not cured my shoe problem 100%. I have noticed that every once in a while a few shoes creep into my closet. I recognize that this correlates with when I am feeling vulnerable and my scarcity mindset slithers around. I have even recognized when I overcompensate with my daughters and try to buy them shoes. Somewhere my money memory and scarcity kicks in and I retaliate without checking in with myself. There is an Ice Cube rap song I heard my teenagers listening to once and it goes like this: Check yourself before you wreck yourself. That is now one of my mantras.
I have learned to connect my memories and money stories to my present self.
Have you acknowledged your money story? Can you honor your story and use it to transform your present day relationship with your money? Start off this fall with a positive and abundant mindset.