MOD­ERN DAT­ING 2.0

NICHE Magazne - - Romantic Fantasy - by Carmelia Ray

I started work­ing in the dat­ing in­dus­try in 1992, be­fore Match.com went live and well be­fore social me­dia. It is very clear dat­ing has moved to mainly dig­i­tal meet ups, on­line con­nec­tions, mo­bile dat­ing apps and on­line dat­ing. In to­day's dat­ing en­vi­ron­ment, you have to know how to nav­i­gate the vir­tual dat­ing wa­ters in or­der to suc­cess­fully make a real-life con­nec­tion and there's great news for ladies dat­ing on­line to­day. Ac­cord­ing to Match.com's an­nual Sin­gles In Amer­ica Sur­vey, 68% of men on­line ad­mit they want to find love. Men also agreed (38%) the num­ber one turn-on for men are fe­male en­trepreneurs. Go #boss­babes! If you're go­ing to be on­line, here are some im­por­tant do's and don'ts to con­sider to help you find your match in the dig­i­tal dat­ing world.

CARMELIA'S TOP 5 DAT­ING DO'S

1/DO post an at­trac­tive pro­file photo.

I would say the sin­gle most im­por­tant way to stand out and get no­ticed on­line is by post­ing an at­trac­tive on­line dat­ing pro­file photo. Your pro­file pic­ture says every­thing about you. In fact, your photo screams for men to ei­ther CLICK here or SWIPE left.

2/ DO write a catch-wor­thy bio.

While some men may not al­ways read your en­tire pro­file, many men do. The right guy WILL read your pro­file be­cause he is in­ter­ested to see if you have things in com­mon and if you are some­one he might po­ten­tially click with in real life. Con­sider your on­line dat­ing pro­file bio as your per­sonal ad.

3/ DO cre­ate a per­son­al­ized user­name.

In the sea of on­line dat­ing pro­files, the sec­ond most im­por­tant con­sid­er­a­tion af­ter your pro­file photo is your user­name. When you take the time to per­son­al­ize your user­name, it helps to at­tract at­ten­tion as well as po­ten­tially ini­ti­ate a con­ver­sa­tion around it. Cre­at­ing an in­ter­est­ing and per­son­al­ized user­name also helps with fil­ter­ing and weed­ing out the wrong types.

4/ DO high­light your best self.

There's a big dif­fer­ence be­tween brag­ging about your­self and gen­uinely be­ing proud of who you are. If you won En­trepreneur of the Year or you were your school's vale­dic­to­rian, then own it! Be proud of your ac­com­plish­ments and it will at­tract the right mate that will be im­pressed with your achieve­ments.

5/ DO be fem­i­nine, funny & flirty.

My three fa­vorite F-words on­line are fem­i­nine, fun or funny and flirty. When you are able to write about your­self with these char­ac­ter­is­tics in mind, you'll have the per­fect recipe for suc­cess.

CARMELIA'S TOP 5 DAT­ING DON'TS

1\ DON’T make de­mands on your pro­file.

Men ap­pre­ci­ate a strong woman, they just don't want to be in a re­la­tion­ship with one 24/7. There's al­ways a time and place to be as­sertive and mak­ing de­mands on your on­line dat­ing pro­file by list­ing a laun­dry list of “shoulds” would scare any man. This type of pro­file reads as “high main­te­nance.”

2\ DON’T in­clude a neg­a­tive “need not ap­ply” laun­dry list.

When you make a list of all the DON'TS, you may come across as high main­te­nance. You can also ap­pear very bit­ter when you write things like, “must NOT be broke,” “must NOT be a cheater,” “must NOT be a liar” and so forth. You sub­con­sciously look like some­one who has been burned in the past and will bring that negativity to your next re­la­tion­ship.

3\ DON’T be a neg­a­tive nancy or deb­bie downer on your pro­file.

This seems self-ex­plana­tory but I feel it's so im­por­tant to re­it­er­ate. It is much bet­ter prac­tice to share who you WANT to meet and de­scribe your IDEAL part­ner rather than talk about who you would rather not be with. Putting out pos­i­tive thoughts in the dat­ing world is like putting out pos­i­tive vibes in the Uni­verse. Good at­tracts good. A pos­i­tive pro­file will at­tract the right guy and weed out the ones you should not be with.

4\ DON’T show­case old, blurry pic­tures.

Enough said. One of the big­gest turn-offs for men and women is meet­ing some­one IRL who looks noth­ing like their pro­file. No one wants to be kit­ten fished.

5\ DON’T as­sume all men are the same.

On­line dat­ing is a process and a jour­ney. You may feel like you're on a dat­ing roller coaster which is to­tally nor­mal. What's im­por­tant is that you DON'T paint all men with the same brush when you've had a bad ex­pe­ri­ence. Tak­ing your wor­ries, in­se­cu­ri­ties and judge­ments on any date will ruin your chances of hav­ing a good time and set your­self up for fail­ure.

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