we asked. you an­swered.

The 9Th an­nual NOW LOVE & Sex Survey Plus! am I nor­mal?, On­line Dat­ing Sites that won’t rip you Off, red HOT Valen­tine gift ideas and More

NOW Magazine - Love & Sex - - Front Page - By SCOTT NIS­BET

Where’s the strangest place you’ve had sex? You re­sponded to NOW’s 9th an­nual Sex Survey at

now­toronto.com by the thou­sands. Sur­pris­ing, sexy,

surreal, the an­swers kept com­ing. Here’s a sam­pling of

how you get off.

A tree. I’m to­tally se­ri­ous. We were mon­keys. “A New York City chess ta­ble.” “A porta-potty at a home­town fes­ti­val. It was gross.” “Boiler room.” “In a cov­ered util­ity trailer be­ing towed up north along­side snow­mo­biles.” ON THE ROOF OF A PO­LICE STA­TION. “In the mid­dle of a lake on a jet ski.” “On the steps of a church.” “Trunk of an old car.” “In a mosque!”

Share your most mem­o­rable “walk of shame” tale.

“Leav­ing a ho­tel at 4 am, drunk as shit, with my bra in my hand. Cab driver was amused.”

“Mar­ry­ing my last wife.” “Played pipes at a bar for st. Paddy’s day, ended up go­ing home with a girl. Next morn­ing, had to walk home in full kilt and uni­form.” “vom­it­ing in front of a church as it let out on sun­day morn­ing.” “she tore all my clothes and smacked me around. At 8 in the morn­ing, ev­ery­one on the sub­way thought i’d been at­tacked by a wolver­ine.” “show­Ing up late to help my best FrIend move In and hav­Ing her mum say, ‘are those the same clothes you went out In? looks lIke some­one got laId last nIght.’” “sit­ting on a rick­ety old bus in glit­tery heels and runny mas­cara in the early hours of the morn­ing with a troop of im­mac­u­late nuns.” “Walk­ing into the liquor store with cum in my hair.” “Walk­ing out the back door as his girl­friend was walk­ing in the front.”

If plac­ing a per­sonal ad were the only way to meet peo­ple, what would yours say?

“Yes, my ori­en­ta­tion lists bi­sex­ual. No, i will not have a three­some with you.” “20-year- old les­bian seeks cock for first-time ex­per­i­ment.” “Funny. That’s about it. Take it or leave it.” “Cur­va­ceous lit­er­ary geek will­ing to put out for in­tense men who don’t make gram­mat­i­cal er­rors.” GWM, been there done that, look­inG to do that aGain.” “Hy­brid! Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now all in one pack­age.” “large pe­nis, so­cial worker but ex­tremely wealthy from fam­ily business, loves kids, pets and sun­sets, com­pul­sive liar.” “Must love mu­si­cals, cats and strap-ons. (Not at the same time.)” “smart, sexy, fun girl look­ing for ugly, re­pul­sive, bor­ing man.” “sWF, the kind of girl you can take home to meet your mom and then sneak up­stairs with.”

De­scribe your weird­est pickup ex­pe­ri­ence.

“An old friend’s mother tried to pick me up at the Chicken Deli. She didn’t rec­og­nize me from 15 years be­fore.” “A guy picked me up at a food court in a mall.” “A guy led into his pickup line for me by men­tion­ing how he had hit on my sis­ter a few weeks ear­lier.” “A very large woman said she wanted to take me home and eat me up; not too sure if she was be­ing lit­eral.” “Be­ing a nanny and get­ting picked up by sin­gle (and not so sin­gle) dads at the play­ground.” “A guy work­Ing At A pIzze­rIA, 30 yeArs my se­nIor, of­fereD to tAke me shoe shop­pIng AnD be my ‘DADDy.’ I never Ate there AgAIn.” “Be­ing the last two in the hot tub at a party dur­ing an of­fice re­treat.” “guy ap­proaches me and says: ‘ You’re so hot. i’d jerk you off right now.’”

What quali ies as your most ro­man­tic date?

“A ton of weed, new sheets and a mix­tape.” “Eat­ing ice cream un­der ir­we­works on Canada Day after I was out of the coun­try for a month and re­united with a dear friend who turned out to be much more….” “Kiss­ing in the rain un­der an um- “The date I re­al­ized I loved my girl­friend.” “When your date pays for food from some­place other than a fast food chain.” “Noth­ing is more ro­man­tic than when some­one turns o f their iPhone for the evening.”

De­scribe your most se­ri­ous or fun­ni­est sex ac­ci­dent.

CAT JUMPED ON MY ASS MID THRUST… CON­FU­SION AND SCRATCHES RE­SULT!

brella un­der a street light at night.” “Sit­ting naked in the bath­tub for the en­tire Earth Hour, lit by can­dles.”

“AR­RIV­ING IN LONDON, ONT, TO MEET A LONG DIS­TANCE BOYFRIEND IN THE MID­DLE OF THE NIGHT. SOME­THING SO NOS­TAL­GIC ABOUT THE DEAD OF NIGHT AND HIM WAIT­ING FOR ME AT THE BUS STA­TION. “Can­dlelit pic­nic din­ner on the loor of my un-moved-into apart­ment.” “Cook­ing with my signi icant other in our un­der­wear.”

SHE SAID, ‘HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE?’ I SAID $20? SHE SAID, ‘GREAT, THAT’S ENOUGH FOR CAB FARE TO GO BACK TO MY PLACE AND FUCK.’

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