What the judge said about Gray’s rapist
THE ALLEGATIONS AGAINST MUSTAFA URURYAR
After a night of drinking with Gray and friends at Victory Café and Paupers Pub, Ururyar and Gray went back to his place, where Gray remembers sitting on his bed and Ururyar grabbing her hair and forcing his penis into her mouth and saying, “This is the last time I’m going to fuck you... and you are going to like it,” according to Gray’s testimony. Gray testified that she cried herself to sleep and woke up in her bra and tank top with Ururyar masturbating next to her. She didn’t remember taking off her pants or underwear.
Ururyar, who took the stand on his own behalf, testified that Gray was the aggressor, “groping” his thigh at Paupers and initiating sex back at his place. He testified to having sex with Gray but says it was consensual. The thrust of the defence’s case was that Gray was too intoxicated – she testified she’d had six or seven beers – to remember most of what happened, so how could she know if she was not a willing participant? The court also heard that Ururyar sent Gray a text message, described by the judge as a “vague apology,” a few days after the incident. It reads: “I am sorry things went as they did. I shouldn’t have said and done some of the things I did. I was upset and felt wronged by you, but that does not excuse my own mistakes.” THE JUDGE’S FINDINGS
ON QUESTIONS RAISED BY THE DEFENCE ABOUT GRAY’S SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR
Ururyar’s defence lawyer entered into evidence a text message Gray sent to Ururyar “to come drink and then we can have hot sex” some hours prior to the assault. Evidence of a victim’s sexual behaviour and sexual disposition are ordinarily inadmissible. The judge ruled in any event that “the ‘hot sex’ text can be read in many ways. If anything, [it] made Mr. Ururyar’s alleged guilt more likely, as perhaps providing a stimulus for his later alleged assault.”
ON GRAY’S WAITING TWO DAYS TO REPORT THE ASSAULT
“Those who have experienced sexual assault develop varying coping strategies that not only differ by individual, but may also differ within the same individual by day.”
ON THE ISSUE OF CONSENT
“There are many misguided misconceptions of what constitutes a ‘real’ rape or how a ‘real’ victim of sexual violence should behave, i.e., scream, struggle to the utmost and report immediately. A victim’s nonconformance with behavioural stereotypes should not impact the way we evaluate the complaint. A person’s lack of verbal or physical resistance... does not constitute consent. Some may engage in sex for fear they will be raped if they don’t participate voluntarily. For much of our history, the ‘good’ rape victim, the ‘credible’ rape victim, has been a dead one.”
ON URURYAR’S VERSION OF EVENTS
“To listen to Mr. Ururyar paint Ms. Gray as the seductive party animal is nothing short of incomprehensible. He went or tried to go to any length to discredit Ms. Gray, if not invalidate her.”
In another part of his decision, the judge describes Ururyar as the “ultimate game-player.” He writes, “Ms. Gray could not meet his sexual needs. He told her that. She was vulnerable. She was scared. He pounced. ‘Forget the condom. I am in power. I am in command.’ Power, power, power. He was the boss and he loved it.”
Ururyar, whose bail has been revoked and will have to wait in prison for his sentencing hearing in two months’ time, has notified the court through his lawyer that he will be appealing the decision.
“There are many misconceptions of how a ‘real’ victim of sexual violence should behave.”