SAV­AGE LOVE

NOW Magazine - - CONTENTS - By Dan Sav­age

Gay for pussy

I’ve been won­der­Ing: SInce there are les­bians out there who oc­ca­sion­ally crave cock, does the re­verse also hap­pen? Are there gay men who oc­ca­sion­ally crave pussy?

This Pos­si­ble?

There are gay men who watch football – hell, I have it on good au­thor­ity that some gay men play football, TP. So any­thing is pos­si­ble. (Also, there are lots of les­bian-iden­ti­fied bi­sex­ual women out there, a smaller num­ber of gay-iden­ti­fied bi­sex­ual men, and a tiny hand­ful of bi­sex­ual-iden­ti­fied football fans.)

Ruinous porn

I’ve been See­Ing a lot of ar­tI­cleS In the media about men “drop­ping out of the dat­ing-and-marriage game,” and the con­clu­sions al­ways point to porn as the cul­prit. This seems like a sim­plis­tic ex­pla­na­tion. Do you have an opinion on the ef­fect of porn on men?

Pon­der­ing Porn

I dropped out of the form­ing-opin­ion­s­about-porn game – far too busy con­sum­ing porn these days, PP. It’s the only way to keep my­self sane here in Trump­syl­va­nia.

Pen­e­trat­ing advice

I’m a 26-year-old woman. I Started dat­ing a fan­tas­tic guy a month ago, blah blah blah, we’ve al­ready talked about marriage. The prob­lem is that his dick isn’t up to par size-wise or stay­ing-hard­wise. He was aware of this be­fore I came along and it made him an en­thu­si­as­tic and skilled oral per­former to make up for it. So for now ev­ery­thing’s great, plenty of or­gasms and we’re lovey­dovey. But even­tu­ally I’ll need that filled-up feel­ing and I’ll have to ask for some dildo/ex­ten­der/strap-on ac­tion. The ques­tion is when to ask. He’s a se­cure guy, and we’ve both been hon­est about our flaws. If I wait too long to ask, it might make him think I’ve been fak­ing the whole time. And if I ask too soon, I could scare him off or make his per­for­mance anx­i­ety worse! How do I know when the right time is?

Half Full

If you were talk­ing about marriage af­ter a month, HF, odds are good this re­la­tion­ship is doomed any­way. So go ahead and ask for dildo/ex­ten­der/strap-on ac­tion now. Don’t say, “Cir­cling back to your sub­par dick, dar­ling, I’m gonna need some com­pen­satory dildo ac­tion soon.” In­stead say, “I’m into pen­e­tra­tion toys, and I’m look­ing for­ward to get­ting into them with you – get­ting them into me, get­ting them into you. Any­thing you want to put on the menu, dar­ling?”

No-touch bros

two frIendS can hook up wIth a gIrl or two girls from a bar and have a three­some or a four­some. But can two brothers – with op­po­site sex­ual pref­er­ences – hook up with a girl and a guy from a bar? Would this be con­sid­ered wrong? No touch­ing be­tween sib­lings would oc­cur.

Ba­sic Bros

It would be con­sid­ered wrong by some – but those peo­ple aren’t you, your brother or the girl and guy you hope to pick up to­gether. Per­son­ally, BB, I can barely get an erec­tion if one of my sib­lings is in the same zip code; I can’t imag­ine get­ting one with a sib­ling in the same room. But if you’re com­fort­able do­ing op­po­site­sex­ual-pref­er­encey things in close prox­im­ity to your brother, go for it.

Dou­ble-team dream

I am a bI­Sex­ual man and re­cently di­vorced my wife of 30 years. I am cur­rently see­ing a very beau­ti­ful lady. I sat­isfy my bi­sex­ual de­sires by go­ing to sex clubs and I al­ways prac­tice safe. I don’t have an is­sue, I just wanted to tell you I re­mem­ber one time when you had a col­umn about two guys per­form­ing fel­la­tio on an­other man at the same time. I found it to be such a turn-on and even fan­ta­sized I was do­ing it to you. Hope that doesn’t of­fend you.

Lov­ing Life

Um, thanks for shar­ing?

Prozac dis­or­der

I’m hav­Ing an ex­tremely dIf­fI­cult tIme get­ting in­ti­mate with my boyfriend of four years. I’m in re­cov­ery for an eat­ing dis­or­der, and part of my treat­ment is Prozac. It’s work­ing great and help­ing me make health­ier choices. How­ever, the Prozac is se­verely af­fect­ing my sex drive. I have lit­tle to no de­sire to have sex. And when we do have sex, I rarely or­gasm. This is frus­trat­ing and, frankly, harm­ful to my re­cov­ery process. I’m al­ready deal­ing with my shitty eat­ing dis­or­der telling me that I’m fat, ugly and not good enough for any­one, any­thing, or even a de­cent meal. Now it’s tak­ing sex away from me, too? I also feel ter­ri­ble for my boyfriend, who is end­lessly pa­tient and un­der­stand­ing but wants to have sex. I’ve sug­gested open­ing up the re­la­tion­ship for his sake, but he doesn’t want to do that. I feel guilty and sad and frus­trated. Any thoughts?

Prozac Lover/Healer

If the ben­e­fits of Prozac (help­ing you make bet­ter choices and aid­ing your re­cov­ery process) are can­celled out by the side ef­fects (leav­ing you so sex­u­ally frus­trated, it’s harm­ing your re­cov­ery process), PLH, you should talk to your doc­tor about other op­tions – other drugs you could try or a lower dose of Prozac. If you doc­tor dis­misses your con­cerns about the sex­ual side ef­fects of the drug they’ve got you on, get a new doc­tor.

Woke in­som­niac

I have only one con­cern about Don­ald Trump get­ting im­peached: Do we get Mike Pence? Is he not just as bad? Or worse? On a more per­sonal note: I don’t think I’ve got­ten a good night’s sleep since Trump got elected. I wake up ev­ery morn­ing next to an avid, Fox Newswatch­ing Trump sup­porter. I’m mar­ried long-term (35 years!) to a man who pulled a po­lit­i­cal 180. This is about to make me crazy. Re­ally. I’m not kid­ding. Do you have any sug­ges­tions for me? I don’t want to DTMFA. Al­though af­ter a most nau­se­at­ing dis­cus­sion over din­ner, I did ac­tu­ally give it some thought.

Lib­eral Grandma

Mike Pence, as aw­ful as he is, os­cil­lates within a pre­dictable band of Repub­li­can aw­ful­ness. The rea­son no one is get­ting any sleep these days – not even folks who don’t wake up next to Trump sup­port­ers – is be­cause no one can pre­dict what Trump will do next. Not even Trump. That’s what makes his pres­i­dency such an ex­is­ten­tial night­mare. As for your hus­band, LG, your choices are bi­nary and rather stark: Ei­ther you di­vorce his ass and spare your­self the grief of lis­ten­ing to his bull­shit, or you stay put, learn to tune out his bull­shit and can­cel out his vote in 2018 and 2020.

Site-spe­cific

what’S the beSt dat­Ing SIte for a slightly cyn­i­cal, tat­tooed, fortysome­thing woman look­ing for a guy?

Tat­tooed Lady

It de­pends on the kind of guy you want. Closet case? Chris­tianMin­gle. Fuck boy? Tin­der. Trump voter? Farm­ers Only. Com­pul­sive mas­tur­ba­tor? Craigslist. Un­fuck­able loser who is now and will al­ways be a so­cially mal­adapted vir­gin? Re­turn of Kings. On the Love­cast, Dr. Sa­man­tha Joel on the psy­chol­ogy of end­ing re­la­tion­ships: sav­agelove­cast.com. mail@sav­agelove.net @fakedansav­age on Twit­ter ITMFA.org The Au­gust 24 edi­tion of Sav­age Love will ap­pear on­line at now­toronto.com/lifestyle/advice

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