Take the fo­cus off your­self

Ottawa Citizen - - YOU - EL­LIE TESHER Ad­vice

Feed­back: Re­gard­ing the wo­man feel­ing she’s be­ing “hid­den” from her boyfriend’s daugh­ter: Reader: “She needs to re­move the fo­cus from her­self. If he’s pro­tect­ing his daugh­ter, it’s out of love and re­spect for his daugh­ter (she should al­ways be his top pri­or­ity).

“If they have no plans to re­marry or co­hab­i­tate, she has no rea­son to push or rush any­thing.

“There are statis­tics about how many fa­thers be­have when with a girl­friend and how it im­pacts their chil­dren. I com­mend the fa­ther for con­sid­er­ing this.

“How could the daugh­ter who hasn’t met her be con­trol­ling her fa­ther’s be­hav­iour? Give the daugh­ter some com­pas­sion. Her life was ripped apart by divorce.

“The man needs to man­age his fa­ther-daugh­ter re­la­tion­ship with­out in­ter­fer­ence from some­one who could just be a tran­sient part­ner.

“It’s not about de­mean­ing the girl­friend. Women com­ing into a man’s life (when he has chil­dren) need to re­al­ize they’re not the cen­tre of the world, that it’s a sen­si­tive space to step into.

“Maybe he’s just be­ing se­lec­tive about who he brings around this girl­friend. The cou­ple don’t want to marry or co­hab­i­tate now, so she needs to man­age her ex­pec­ta­tions.”

Q Soon after our mother died, my sis­ters and fa­ther used power of at­tor­ney in a for­eign coun­try to switch ti­tle deeds to their names, with­out my knowl­edge.

I dis­cov­ered that, two days be­fore her death, they had our mother trans­fer her shares of a cor­po­ra­tion to them­selves.

It gave them pow­ers to ex­clude me from land here in the U.S., all dis­cov­ered by me after some re­search.

I’ve con­fronted them but am ig­nored. I’ve been too le­nient but it makes me feel sick to turn the mat­ter over to po­lice.

I haven’t spo­ken to my fam­ily for two years. They’ve even deleted me from Face­book.

My lov­ing wife, who knows the whole story, wants me to let it go. She says that “karma” will take care of them.

What should I do?

Cheated Son

A Get le­gal ad­vice and dis­cuss with the po­lice. If there’s a winnable case, that’s karma too. Read El­lie Mon­day to Satur­day. Email el­lie@thes­tar.ca. Fol­low @el­liead­vice.

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