Counting the ways Patrick Brown could say he’s sorry
Ontario Progressive Conservative Leader Patrick Brown has Liberal Premier Kathleen Wynne’s legal attack dogs demanding an apology for misspeaking that Wynne, herself, was on trial in the political bribery case now underway in Sudbury.
Nothing could be further from the truth, of course, but one could hardly be blamed for thinking it had some semblance of truth.
Hauling out the lawyers, however, is a tried-andtrue intimidation strategy in times such as these, but libel suits often go away with a simple apology and a respectable grovel.
If Brown is indeed planning on apologizing, though, we hereby offer him the following list of Top 10 apologies to consider, complete with a handy script that can be tucked away for easy reference.
Consider it a public service.
From our lips to Patrick Brown’s:
1. First of all, I cannot tell you how sorry I am that I have to be sorry, but feeling sorry for Kathleen Wynne is not difficult considering her low approval ratings. Politicians crave love and respect, not public scorn.
2. I am sorry, for example, that the premier had to fly to Sudbury this week to testify at a trail where her former deputy chief of staff and campaign manager, Pat Sorbara, and one of her top political bagmen, are facing bribery charges to allegedly fiddling with a byelection in the Nickel City. The premier is a busy woman, and this is no doubt an unnecessary distraction.
3. I am sorry that there is a criminal trial in Toronto that has the two top aides of her enabler and former premier, Dalton McGuinty, facing charges of allegedly erasing incriminating emails from the hard drives in her office going back to the billiondollar gas plant scandal. Such reminders of alleged corruption cannot be easy when one is plotting re-election.
4. I am sorry that the premier’s green energy plan didn’t work out, and that tens of thousands of Ontarians had their power cut off in middle of winter because they couldn’t pay their hydro bills.
5. I am sorry, too, that Ontarians do not appreciate the fact that the jacked-up electricity costs foisted on them over the last few years thanks to the Liberal’s timely investments in ineffective and inefficient solar energy and wind power. Ontarians obviously don’t understand solesourced free enterprise, and need to be educated about the application of largesse.
6. I am sorry that small business in Ontario does not appreciate the premier’s attempt to eradicate poverty by raising the minimum wage to $15 an hour, and sorry that no one believes her when she denies it will cost 50,000 Ontario jobs.
7. I am sorry that Premier Wynne stands accused of buying the next election with the promise of free tuition and pharmacare for young people who really don’t need pharmacare.
8. I am sorry the Premier has a province with a $312-billion debt, and that my party failed to defeat her last time around. This time we will try harder, I promise.
9. I am sorry former Premier Dalton McGuinty left Premier Wynne so many scandals (the list is too long to echo here), and sorry that she was unable to fix anything that had gone wrong. It is not her fault, but the fault of her cabinet and underlings, and I apologize for their incompetence.
10. And I am sorry for being sorry, but I want the threat of this libel suit to go away. I trust that is now clear.