Don’t shoot

Packet & Times (Orillia) - - OPINION - Bill Soles Oro-Me­donte Town­ship

Let­ter to the edi­tor and open let­ter to City of Oril­lia coun­cil:

On be­half of the res­i­dents of Oro-Me­donte Town­ship, I re­quest, please, do not aim your can­non in our di­rec­tion.

We have no in­ten­tion of at­tack­ing the fine City of Oril­lia (at least in the fore­see­able fu­ture). In­deed, we trea­sure the pleas­ant re­la­tion­ship we share with your quaint city.

We travel to Oril­lia on a reg­u­lar ba­sis to pa­tron­ize your fine gro­cery em­po­ri­ums. We even pur­chase dry goods and elec­tron­ics, not to men­tion al­co­holic bev­er­ages at those re­tail­ers who spe­cial­ize in such items.

We fre­quently en­joy the of­fer­ings of your quite won­der­ful opera house.

Sol­diers’ Me­mo­rial Hos­pi­tal is a re­luc­tant choice for many of us. While we are ex­tremely glad that it is there when we need med­i­cal ser­vices, we would rather not have to avail our­selves of this ex­per­tise.

As for our town­ship, our ski hills and re­sorts are world-class. We have a crosscoun­try ski and cy­cle fa­cil­ity, which has been the site of an Olympic event. The Oro World’s Fair re­cently cel­e­brated its 165th birth­day. And, un­like Oril­lia’s fair­grounds, our fair is ac­tu­ally lo­cated within our mu­nic­i­pal bound­aries.

While we do pa­tron­ize eat­ing es­tab­lish­ments in Oril­lia, we also have some fine din­ing fa­cil­i­ties of our own.

We are home to a world -class choco­latier. We envy your Lea­cock and Light­foot con­nec­tions, but, Oro-Me­donte’s Burl’s Creek has be­come an in­ter­na­tion­ally rec­og­nized site of mu­si­cal ex­trav­a­gan­zas.

The Lake Sim­coe Re­gional Air­port is lo­cated in Oro-Me­donte, and was re­cently used as an en­try port by some of the en­ter­tain­ers fea­tured at Burl’s Creek, as well as Casino Rama en­ter­tain­ers, on many oc­ca­sions.

Our town­ship re­cently re­ceived two Lieu­tenant Gov­er­nor’s On­tario Her­itage Trust awards for our work in the restora­tion of the Oro African Methodist Epis­co­pal Church. (Bus­loads of tourists, mainly Amer­i­can sur­vivors of the founders of this church, visit this site on a reg­u­lar ba­sis through­out the sum­mer months.)

We have a won­der­ful na­ture park, the Ge­orge Lang­man Sanc­tu­ary, which is open to all, and is main­tained by the Oril­lia Fish and Game Con­ser­va­tion Club.

We have sev­eral fine golf cour­ses lo­cated strate­gi­cally within our bound­aries.

The pris­tine waters of the Oro Mo­raine are sourced as a prime sup­ply to a mul­ti­tude of our homes.

Our farms pro­duce fruit, veg­eta­bles, and cat­tle, and our liq­uid gold (maple syrup) is prized by con­sumers.

We are home to the man­u­fac­turer of the prized Napoleon brand of bar­be­cues.

In short, while we trea­sure the re­la­tion­ship we share with your city, we have no in­ten­tion to an­nex, or oth­er­wise at­tach your rel­a­tively small acreage to our town­ship. You have noth­ing to fear from us, there­fore no rea­son to train your ord­nance in our di­rec­tion.

Un­for­tu­nately, Mr. Lea­cock is no longer among us to prop­erly as­sess this dilemma.

Quite se­ri­ously, the care of the now-in­fa­mous can­nons con­sti­tutes a trust. You would do well to con­sult with the mem­ber­ship of your lo­cal le­gion branch be­fore au­tho­riz­ing any change in their po­si­tion­ing.

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