Wife treated like a queen longs for sim­ple snug­gling

Prince Albert Daily Herald - - LETTERS TO THE EDITOR - Abi­gail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I re­cently got mar­ried to a won­der­ful man who is 19 years younger than I am. He’s the love of my life. The prob­lem is, he sleeps to­tally on one side of the bed and isn’t af­fec­tion­ate at night ex­cept when we are mak­ing love. Then he is amaz­ing -- af­fec­tion­ate, sen­si­tive, and very at­ten­tive and kind.

He says his mother was very cold to­ward him, and he was reared by his grand­par­ents, who loved him, but were not “touchy-feely.” He treats me like a queen, Abby. Should I just for­get about it and be con­tent sleep­ing un­hugged and un-held all night? -- ON MY SIDE IN MARY­LAND

DEAR ON YOUR SIDE: No, you should talk to your hus­band and ex­plain what your needs are. Al­though the sex is won­der­ful, many peo­ple -- of both sexes, by the way -- need to feel the warmth of hu­man con­tact. Be­cause he treats you like a queen, tell him you need more, and per­haps he will make more of an ef­fort on your side of the bed and out­side the bed­room.

DEAR ABBY: My hus­band and I en­joy drink­ing wine. Be­cause of our busy sched­ule, we of­ten stock up when there is a sale for the sake of con­ve­nience. I can­not tell you how many times the cashier at the gro­cery or dis­count store will com­ment, “Are you hav­ing a party?” or “Boy, you sure do drink a lot of wine.” As a cus­tomer, I find this both rude and em­bar­rass­ing. Do you have any ad­vice on how to re­spond to let them know that I find this to be poor cus­tomer ser­vice? -- SHY WINE LOVER

DEAR SHY: Cashiers in re­tail busi­nesses are on the front lines of public re­la­tions. It’s im­por­tant to keep in mind that when they make con­ver­sa­tion, they are try­ing to be friendly. Be­cause you are buy­ing al­co­hol in quan­tity, it’s not un­usual for some­one to think you are hav­ing a party, and the ques­tion isn’t rude. All you have to do is say no.

How­ever, if the clerk com­ments about the amount of wine he or she as­sumes you are con­sum­ing, you are per­fectly within your rights to tell that per­son the com­ment is in­ap­pro­pri­ate and, frankly, of­fen­sive.

DEAR ABBY: I have de­vel­oped ro­man­tic feel­ings to­ward a close friend. They are af­fect­ing my abil­ity to be a good friend to her. If I say some­thing, I risk los­ing some­one I am very close to, but if I don’t, I may con­tinue to push her away. I have been stuck in limbo for a while. What would you do? -- A FRIEND IN LOVE

DEAR FRIEND: The friend­ship as it stands must be painful for you. Keep­ing silent will only pro­long those feel­ings. It’s time to tell your friend how you feel. You will never know if your feel­ings are re­cip­ro­cated un­less you do. How­ever, if they aren’t, it might be health­ier for you to move on so you can find some­one who is able to re­turn your feel­ings.

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