Mar­ried man con­sid­ers af­fair to re­place dor­mant love life

Prince Albert Daily Herald - - LETTER TO THE EDITOR -

she talks with her OB/GYN about the prob­lem. And that won’t hap­pen un­less you talk to her.

DEAR ABBY: I was un­hap­pily mar­ried years ago and con­ceived a child by an ex-boyfriend. My son is now 31. I di­vorced my hus­band 28 years ago. He knew the baby was not his, but claimed him as his own son. He re­fused to do a DNA test when we were go­ing through the di­vorce. He died a few years ago.

I am in con­tact with my son’s bi­o­log­i­cal fa­ther. They look iden­ti­cal, and my grand­son looks just like his fa­ther and grand­fa­ther.

My guilt is con­sum­ing me. I want to tell my son that even though the dad he knew all his life is gone, he still has a chance to get to know an­other fa­ther who is his blood. On the other hand, I don’t want to ruin my re­la­tion­ship with my son and grand­chil­dren, whom I love very much. How can I tell the truth with­out hurt­ing my son and our re­la­tion­ship? -- RIGHT­ING A WRONG

DEAR RIGHT­ING: Bet­ter late than never. Your son needs to know that the man who raised him and claimed him as his own was not his bi­o­log­i­cal fa­ther so that he can have a com­plete med­i­cal his­tory. If the birth fa­ther wasn’t in­ter­ested in know­ing or sup­port­ing his son, he sounds more like a sperm donor than a “blood” rel­a­tive to me. Do not be sur­prised if your son isn’t in­ter­ested in know­ing more about his birth fa­ther than the in­for­ma­tion I sug­gested.

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