Lit­tle girls’ many boyfriends raise a red flag for mom

Prince Albert Daily Herald - - OPINION -

DEAR ABBY: I am sin­gle and the mother of a 7-year-old girl. When she was 4, I de­cided there would be no pa­rade of guys com­ing in and out of my life, or any at all. I have barely dated, and the few times I have gone out, I never talked about it around her.

Over the last two or three years, she has come home ev­ery few weeks or months with a new boy she likes. I never say much ex­cept that she’s not al­lowed to have a boyfriend. She re­cently swore her grand­fa­ther to se­crecy and told him she had a boyfriend.

Is this nor­mal? Should I be con­cerned that she likes a new boy ev­ery few weeks, or that she didn’t tell me she had a boyfriend even though I don’t pun­ish her for be­ing hon­est? I’m con­cerned about her be­ing in­ter­ested in boys at too young an age. -- POS­SI­BLY PRUDE MOTHER

DEAR MOTHER: Hav­ing a “boyfriend” at the age of 7 means some­thing dif­fer­ent than it does to a teenager or an adult. When your daugh­ter tried to con­fide in you that she liked some­one, you cut her off by telling her it “wasn’t al­lowed.” If you had let her con­fide in you, she wouldn’t have found the need to do it with her grand­fa­ther. I sug­gest you open up the lines of com­mu­ni­ca­tion now, be­fore it’s too late.

DEAR ABBY: Tak­ing care of a loved one who has Alzheimer’s is dif­fi­cult. My boyfriend came up with a bril­liant idea to help me main­tain my own space (the base­ment in the fam­ily home) and still keep track of my mom up­stairs. A baby mon­i­tor! I could hear ev­ery­thing go­ing on up­stairs, at night es­pe­cially, and it made a chal­leng­ing time much eas­ier.

Both of my par­ents had Alzheimer’s dis­ease, and I wish I had known about the mon­i­tor when Dad was still alive. I hope this will help oth­ers to be more ef­fec­tive care­givers with­out com­pro­mis­ing their own lives. -- MISS­ING MOM AND DAD IN MON­TANA

DEAR MISS­ING: So do I, be­cause plac­ing a baby mon­i­tor in the room of a sick per­son of any age is a good idea in case the per­son needs as­sis­tance. I have heard of this be­ing done not only with Alzheimer’s pa­tients but also with peo­ple in hos­pice pro­grams whose care­givers can’t be with them ev­ery minute. Thank you for writ­ing.

DEAR ABBY: I need sug­ges­tions on what to do to get a close fam­ily mem­ber to go out to lunch with me. I have of­fered to pay for lunch, let him pick the restau­rant and do the driv­ing. (“Nope. Can’t go. Got to check with my wife. No.”)

I am in my late 80s, and he’s in his late 70s. Some­day it will be too late. What do you sug­gest? -- LOOK­ING TO LUNCH IN THE EAST

DEAR LOOK­ING TO LUNCH: Try this. In­vite his wife to come to lunch with the two of you. How­ever, if that doesn’t work, for­get about try­ing to get him to go be­cause he may be less ea­ger to see you than you are to see him.

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