Sub Parody by Anonymous
Submarines have been in use for over 100 years. There are a few complaints about our new reconditioned submarines resulting in some people suffering from neuro-active cranial flatulence, which is mainly from those who oppose everything the future has to offer.
Let me clear this up. For a number of years now the navy has been working towards the semi-operation of our four new submarines interior sub-structural placement units being used during the enhanced micro-underwater ventures within the constraints near horizontal metric layers under the sea.
The navy convinced our government in 1995 to rescue and refit the last four diesel-electric submarines from the Royal Navy by sending highly trained reactive personnel on a secret mission across the Atlantic to have
intercourse with various levels of government personnel to prevent over-skein-bullying and to promise various infrasundry financing situations to ensure no one will know what is happening with our tax money.
These submarines not only provide an important step in securing our shores, where it can redirect and attack bloating enemy naval single-hull-bellies, but they also use 260 subterranean, yet modern, optical enhanced electronic ion multi-storage wired micro-block prototype nanobattery units for power which greatly exceed the required 15 minute standard.
Some have been recently removed from the water for maintenance to ensure the inverse reactive current flux high-capacity pre-phamulated parametric cover which incases the major dynamic spool is not too close to the semislot stainless trem-pipe semi-vertical naval ladders. This is to maintain their functionality, and that they will bypass through the antimagnetic decking to prevent the very often magnetic influence of its officers from over-blubbering to the media while they are activating microphone laser calibration during magnetic verbal events.
This will not only prevent the necessary abuse of our politicians, but it will satisfy the requirements of hiding thousands of official secret memos or emails that are sent each day from the rear minded humanoids that dominate our illusion of meeting the naval committee standard requirements to headquarters satisfaction.
They have also updated the interior piping suction complex with the less confusing nasal inhaler which is reattached to the starboard propeller blade thruster block to stop the failure of the copper interior sonar vacuum bearings on the port side during high speed fishing manoeuvres and to make the crew more comfortable during mental exercises.
Submarine operation not only trains naval recruits to adapt to the internal pressure configured to enlarge brain mumbling catteroids which are attached to the forward water glubble near the left eye. It also welds a permanent smile to all those who are willing to succumb to common hearing loss due to the redundant quiet effect aboard a submerged submarine.
A recently added control room computer motherboard update, reduces listing motion caused by the old style Biostat diving input valve manifold and allows for insertion of a newer inter-narrowing manifold handle on crew members during the standard mixed gender steering helm thrust manoeuvres while firing a dummy Mark 48 torpedo above the keel.
Our state-of-the-art submarines are now successfully being used for official underwater enhanced submerged vacillations when conflicting with other naval vessels around the world.
While at the same time, scheduling the traditional Canadian Armed Forces maintenance program to ensure equipment lasts the expected full fifty year operational standard. This is accomplished by recruiting prairie farmers and using their unique but highly advanced 10-minute hay-wire and duct-tape repair techniques. Also know as the “farmers forever flotsam fix for future forces for fifty”, now officially known as the “9F-word” program. It replaces the “million-F-word” program used continually in the halls in Ottawa since the Canadian Forces unification in 1968.
It’s a well kept secret that no one wants to know what is really happening, so parts of this information has been modified or omitted to ensure it meets the new military non-restricted security classification: “MUMBLEJUMBLE FOR RELEASE”.