Life’s Like That

Reader's Digest (Canada) - - Contents - Send us your funny sto­ries! They could be worth $50. See page 10 or visit rd.ca/joke for more details.

MAN OR MA­CHINE?

I bought a car to­day, and the deal­er­ship had me check off—with a pen, on a pa­per form—that I’m not a ro­bot.

@MARCIROBIN NIGHT­MARES ARE JUST free hor­ror movies that you pro­duce, di­rect and star in.

red­dit.com

AGE OF IN­NO­CENCE

I want to go back to a time when the worst thing peo­ple had to deal with was, ap­par­ently, be­ing given lemons.

@THEALEXNEVIL OVER­HEARD AT A PAINT STORE: CUSTOMER: How much for a gal­lon of that paint?

CLERK: $42.

CUSTOMER: Do you have a smaller gal­lon? LOUISE ARRUDA, Brad­ford, Ont.

LOVE SICK

Noth­ing in life can pre­pare you for how much of a mar­riage is spent just lis­ten­ing to some­one cough.

@BOURGEOISALIEN

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