LIFE’S LIKE THAT

Reader's Digest International - - Front Page -

AH, MAR­RIAGE. Re­cently I woke up in a par­tic­u­larly good mood. So much so that I felt com­pelled to look over at my hus­band and say, “Honey, I love you.”

He re­turned my gaze and asked, “Why? What’s the mat­ter?”

KATHLEEN SMITH, Mil­lis, Mas­sachusetts

FEEL­ING THAT I’D HAD a very pro­duc­tive day, I called my mother to brag. “What’s it like hav­ing an awe­some daugh­ter?” I asked her.

“I don’t know,” she replied. “Why don’t you ask your grand­mother?”

SHERI MUELLER, Saratoga Springs, Utah

MY FRIEND WENT to her doc­tor for a rou­tine exam. First things first: get­ting weighed. “We have a new dig­i­tal scale with LED read­out,”

boasted the nurse. My friend climbed on and was thrilled to see the screen read 127.

“Don’t get too ex­cited,” said the nurse. “That’s the time.”

JANICE HYNE, Stow, Ohio

I RE­AL­IZED my 17-year-old son was spoiled the day he called to his mother, “Ma, are the clothes in the dryer clean?”

PAUL MILLARD, Ken­neb­unk, Maine

GIVE YOUR CANINE a leg up in our dog-eat-dog world by nam­ing him or her af­ter some­one fa­mous. Here’s some in­spi­ra­tion col­lected by care.com:

Ka­reem Ab­dul-Jab­bark

Droolius Cae­sar

Woof­gang Amadeus Mozart Sarah Jes­sica Barker

Jimmy Chew

SOME FRIENDS joined my hus­band and me at a diner. Ev­ery­one or­dered reg­u­lar cof­fee ex­cept for Joe, who asked for de­caf. The wait­ress re­turned a few min­utes later and set all the cof­fees down on the ta­ble.

“Which one’s the de­caf?” Joe asked.

The wait­ress picked up a cup, took a sip, and said, “This one.”

LAURA METTI, Beth­le­hem, Penn­syl­va­nia

MY WIFE DOES NOT play golf.

But one day she de­cided to ride in the cart while I shot a round. I teed off on a par 3 and watched as the ball mirac­u­lously sailed into the hole. I was be­side my­self—I’d been play­ing for 60 years and never shot a hole in one! My wife was a lit­tle less im­pressed. She asked, “Isn’t that what you’re sup­posed to do?”

RALPH GREISINGER, Doylestown, Penn­syl­va­nia

“He said eat some grass and call him in the morn­ing.”

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Canada

© PressReader. All rights reserved.