LIFE’S LIKE THAT
AH, MARRIAGE. Recently I woke up in a particularly good mood. So much so that I felt compelled to look over at my husband and say, “Honey, I love you.”
He returned my gaze and asked, “Why? What’s the matter?”
KATHLEEN SMITH, Millis, Massachusetts
FEELING THAT I’D HAD a very productive day, I called my mother to brag. “What’s it like having an awesome daughter?” I asked her.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “Why don’t you ask your grandmother?”
SHERI MUELLER, Saratoga Springs, Utah
MY FRIEND WENT to her doctor for a routine exam. First things first: getting weighed. “We have a new digital scale with LED readout,”
boasted the nurse. My friend climbed on and was thrilled to see the screen read 127.
“Don’t get too excited,” said the nurse. “That’s the time.”
JANICE HYNE, Stow, Ohio
I REALIZED my 17-year-old son was spoiled the day he called to his mother, “Ma, are the clothes in the dryer clean?”
PAUL MILLARD, Kennebunk, Maine
GIVE YOUR CANINE a leg up in our dog-eat-dog world by naming him or her after someone famous. Here’s some inspiration collected by care.com:
Woofgang Amadeus Mozart Sarah Jessica Barker
SOME FRIENDS joined my husband and me at a diner. Everyone ordered regular coffee except for Joe, who asked for decaf. The waitress returned a few minutes later and set all the coffees down on the table.
“Which one’s the decaf?” Joe asked.
The waitress picked up a cup, took a sip, and said, “This one.”
LAURA METTI, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
MY WIFE DOES NOT play golf.
But one day she decided to ride in the cart while I shot a round. I teed off on a par 3 and watched as the ball miraculously sailed into the hole. I was beside myself—I’d been playing for 60 years and never shot a hole in one! My wife was a little less impressed. She asked, “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?”
RALPH GREISINGER, Doylestown, Pennsylvania
“He said eat some grass and call him in the morning.”