Mind your busi­ness when it comes to of­fice ro­mance

Saskatoon StarPhoenix - - YOU - The fol­low­ing col­umn was orig­i­nally pub­lished in 2012. An­nie’s Mail­box is writ­ten by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, long­time edi­tors of the Ann Lan­ders col­umn.

Dear An­nie: I have loved a gay man all my life, and I am now 64, so I know a lit­tle some­thing about the prob­lem.

I work in an of­fice where a 35-year-old man is dat­ing a fe­male co-worker who is 50. I be­lieve they both care for each other, but he is con­ceal­ing his sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion. I hap­pen to know he has a boyfriend in an­other city.

I have not men­tioned this to any­one not only be­cause it could hurt his po­si­tion in our con­ser­va­tive com­pany, but also be­cause it’s not my busi­ness. How­ever, I’ve be­gun to won­der whether I ought to say some­thing to his girl­friend. She is go­ing through hell. He’s nice to her and takes her out to lunch of­ten, and she re­ports their do­ings with stars in her eyes.

Then they will fight, and she avoids him while he waits to get back in her good graces.

She doesn’t un­der­stand what’s go­ing on, and she’s mis­er­able. I don’t think he’s go­ing to tell her the truth, and at this point, she would be fu­ri­ous if she knew he has been lead­ing her on.

What would you suggest? Should I butt in to save her? I still have to work with both of them.

— No Name, No City Dear No Name: We strongly urge you to stay out of this. Your fe­male co-worker re­al­izes she is mis­er­able in this re­la­tion­ship, but is still un­will­ing to break it off. Un­less there is phys­i­cal abuse, re­la­tion­ship is­sues be­tween co-work­ers are not your busi­ness. It’s very likely that your com­ments would be re­sented, and this could dam­age your work en­vi­ron­ment.

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