Dating violence myths and facts
Do you ever do things with someone that you are not comfortable with because you are “ officially” dating? One of the easiest ways to recognize a healthy relationship is by how you feel about yourself when you are with your date. In a healthy relationship, you feel on top of the world, i n t e l l i g e n t , respected; your self-esteem flourishes. In an unhealthy relationship, you are s e l f - c o n s c i o u s, self-critical and generally anxious and unhappy.
The following is a table of myths and facts regarding your rights when you date:
If your relationship sounds more like it comes from the “ myths” side, you may want to seriously think about what you want and deserve. Never settle for second best; your life may depend on it. MYTHS 1. Dating violence can’t/ won’t happen to me.
2. By our third date, I must have sex with my date.
3. I have to spend all my social time with my date.
4. Jealousy is a sign of love and protection.
5. You cannot be raped by someone you are dating.
6. It’s normal for my date to criticize and make negative comments about my appearance.
7. My date is often mean to me but it will get better. S( h) e said “ I didn’t mean it.”
8. As we get older our relationship will get better.
9. S( he) yells at me and sometimes hits me because I do stupid things.
10. My date has to know where I am at all times, and gets angry when I don’t tell him/ her.
My friends and family say they don’t like the person I’m dating and are afraid of my date, I think they are just envious.
11. My date makes all the decisions about what we do. FACTS 1. According to the Public Health Agency of Canada, dating abuse is a serious problem— it can happen to anyone at any time
2. Sex is not a requirement of dating— it happens at the appropriate age and when both parties freely consent. Sex without consent is a crime.
3. Social time should be divided among other people and interests apart from any one person. 4. Jealousy is a sign of control. 5. Most women are raped by someone they know and often while dating.
6. Not healthy and may be a form of emotional abuse.
7. Usually if there is any abuse in a relationship it gets worse and often leads to physical violence.
8. Young people who engage in or are victimized by dating violence may be at increased risk for continuing to inflict or be victimized by violence as adults, in their intimate relationships, marriages and family lives.
9. Dates who use verbal or physical abuse for any reason are choosing to communicate in an unhealthy and dangerous manner— any physical violence is a crime.
10. This is controlling behaviour and is not love. Dating does not give anyone “ rights” over another person. People share information out of mutual love and respect.
11. Fear is usually the body’s response to danger— your friends and family may be feeling something that you don’t want to see. In a healthy relationship, decisions are discussed and decided together whether it is what channel to watch, where to go to eat or whether to get engaged