Yes you can
Life with the use of only one hand is possible. Here are some things that can be done with the use of only one hand. Remember the rude noises the boys used to make using their armpit and a cupped left hand when showering after gym period? One’s armpit can also be used as a vise for opening a screw-on jar. Knees held tightly together are also a great means of holding a jar while the one good hand twists the cap off.
You can go onehanded biking if you ride a one-speed with coaster brakes.
Driving a vehicle is certainly possible with only one hand. Proof: I once saw a blonde executing a left turn while talking on a cell phone, with a cigarette hanging onto her lower lip, all the while holding onto a hot cup of Tim’s brew.
No doubt that woman would also be able to land an aircraft using only one hand. She’d probably find a way to simultaneously handle the stick, lower the flaps, adjust the trim, drop the undercarriage and cut the throttle on touch-down, yet still continue chatting on her cell phone.
The right elbow is great for squeezing toothpaste out of the tube, but the technique only works if the tube is near full. Getting shaving soap from an aerosol can onto your hand is also made possible by using the elbow to apply downward pressure on the valve.
If you plan to attend some sort of performance, make sure it’s something you don’t approve of. One-handed applause is suitable only for things such as the pace we’ve endured regarding the solving of the Cornwall bridge-crossing situation or Mr. Bush’s success in getting ‘ The Coalition of the Willing’ to achieve a permanent solution to all of the woes he imposed on Iraq.
Typing speed was never my forte. I never was a speed typist before my wrist operation, because all my typing has always been done using only one finger and the thumb. The thumb and one finger of my left hand will just have to be trained to do the job formerly done by now immobile right hand.
Since I’m now forced to do any handwrit- ing with my left hand, I now have one of the essential skills of being a doctor: illegible handwriting, I’m considering making medicine my next career. It certainly pays better than being a writer.
If I wish to continue being a photographer, I’ll have to set aside my heavy SLR and start using a point-and-shoot camera. The only trouble with all cameras is that they’re not designed for lefties, as the shutter release is invariably on the right.
When nature calls with urgency, unbuttoning of the belt and fly is prohibitively time consuming. Therefore, I might have to resorting to wearing a kilt. Is there a Wolochatiuk tartan on eBay?
Fortunately, being one-handed can actually increase my luck when hitchhiking. The sight of a bandaged uplifted right hand does it. It’s an asset to be milked as much as possible. It’s the pity factor.
However, I wouldn’t stoop to using ketchup to simulate the appearance of blood. That would border on dishonesty. My motto has always been, “ Never tell a lie— but there’s no need to tell all the truth.”