Proof of what so­ci­ety has be­come

Seaway News - - Opinion -

The great colum­nist Al­lan Fother­ing­ham (aka Dr. Foth) was right when he an­nounced that when it comes to grind­ing out a news­pa­per col­umn in the sweaty grips of the lazy, hazy days of sum­mer, when the na­tional snooze but­ton is hit, some­times there is more newsprint than news.

Just a side note vis-a-vis Fother­ing­ham who was known for his great wit. He once de­scribed Prime Min­is­ter Brian Mul­roney as the “jaw that walks and talks like a man.” So, mov­ing right along .... Few years back a friend sent me what he said was proof of how stupid so­ci­ety has be­come. Here are three of his ex­am­ples. (Hey, we said it was slow news day).

Jef­frey will not be still in class, he dis­rupts other students.

1957 - Jef­frey sent to the prin­ci­pal’s of­fice and given a good pad­dling by the Prin­ci­pal. He then re­turns to class, sits still and does not dis­rupt class again.

2010 - Jef­frey is given huge doses of Ri­talin. He be­comes a zom­bie. He is then tested for At­ten­tion Deficit Dis­or­der (ADD). The fam­ily gets ex­tra money from the gov­ern­ment be­cause Jef­frey has a dis­abil­ity.

Johnny falls while run­ning dur­ing re­cess and scrapes his knee. He is found cry­ing by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to com­fort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels bet­ter and goes on play­ing.

2010 - Mary is ac­cused of be­ing a sex­ual preda­tor and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny un­der­goes five years of ther­apy.

Jack goes quail hunt­ing be­fore school and then pulls into the ru­ral school park­ing lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.

1957 - Vice prin­ci­pal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his pick-up and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2010 - School goes into lock down, RCMP called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Coun­selors called in for trau­ma­tized students and teach­ers.

AROUND AND ABOUT The days of get­ting a free pass at the Corn­wall port of en­try on many mi­nor pur­chases after slip­ping across the bor­der to gas-up over. As a re­sult of the trade war with the Ex­cited States of Amer­ica, the CBSA is clamp­ing down. On the plus side, no way of check­ing on gaso­line pur­chased State side. At least not yet. ... Thumbs up to the lo­cal Canada Day com­mit­tee for an­other suc­cess­ful party at Lamoureux Park. The Canada Day cel­e­bra­tion god­fa­ther, the late Norm Lalonde, would be proud of the way it has car­ried on. ... A mem­ber of the Old Sweats Fra­ter­nity, Con­nie Pay­ment, adds to the Ma Lalonde dis­cus­sion. Con­nie noted that while Florence Lalonde pur­chased dozens of boxes of buns from Lan­thier Bak­ery each week, the meat for all those 10-cent burg­ers came from fam­i­ly­owned Vil­leneuve Meat Mar­ket on Au­gus­tus Street. ... Post­media ex­pected to make more staff cuts at its sta­ble of pa­pers. Hard to be­lieve the lo­cal daily, down to about a dozen peo­ple, five of them in the news­room, could make any cuts and con­tinue as a six-day pa­per. Paid daily cir­cu­la­tion, which hit 20,000 in the early 1990s when the news­room had 20 staffers, said to be less than 5,000. ... First it was self-ser­vice gas sta­tions. Then came the ATMS which not only dis­pense your money but take de­posits. Now we have re­tail self check­outs for those who don’t shop on line. The day of the cashier is com­ing to an end.

HERE AND THERE Po­lice of­fi­cers re­spond to dozens of do­mes­tic calls in a ca­reer but for a for­mer city cop one stands out as unique. It his the first call on his first shift. A young wife called the sta­tion to say her hus­band had threat­ened her in their Mon­treal Road apart­ment. What caused the dis­pute? Hubby was up­set be­cause she didn’t flush the toi­let. She said he was the non-flusher. Even­tu­ally, with the help of the of­fi­cer, things were set­tled and the toi­let got flushed. ... Two things Que­bec vis­i­tors stock up on be­fore leav­ing for home after a Sun­day on the Long Sault Park­way: milk and gas, both cheaper in On­tario. ... Think­ing of start­ing a new fea­ture called “Think­ing Out­side the Box”. Hare-brained ideas would have to cost tax­pay­ers AT LEAST $15 mil­lion. The grand win­ner would re­ceived a Hugo Award. ... Re: the Statue of Lib­erty pro­tester. In­stead of a full-scale “res­cue” op­er­a­tion car­ried on tele­vi­sion, why not just ig­nore the stunt. You got up there on your own, get down on your own. ... In 1968 Mary Hop­kins had a hit tune “Those Were the Days”. They sure were. ... Lo­cal artist J. P. (Pete) Le­clair will stage an ex­hi­bi­tion of his work at Cline House Gallery. Open­ing night is July 26 ( 7 o’clock). It runs un­til Sept 15. ...

THIS WEEK 1953 The North End So­cial Club was pre­sented with its char­ter. Char­ter di­rec­tors were Thomas Hale, Do­minic Bat­tista and Theodore (Ted) Murphy. ... Construction of a new chem­i­cal plant - Howard and Sons - on Hoople Av­enue was near­ing com­ple­tion. In full pro­duc­tion, it would em­ploy 25 peo­ple. ... City coun­cil no­ti­fied Corn­wall Township coun­cil that the city would not pro­vide fire ser­vices after Dec. 31 after the township said it would not pay the in­creased $40,000 ser­vice fee. The township said it would pay no more than $26,000 per year for fire pro­tec­tion. ... Corn­wall Pub­lic School Board ap­proved construction of a new school at Syd­ney and Eighth Street at a cost of $120,000. ... City res­i­dents Alex Cross and his wife Nora drowned after the out­board mo­tor on their boat ex­ploded throw­ing both non-swim­mers into the St. Lawrence River near Roo­sevelt Bridge. Both were 41 years old. ... Tex­tile Work­ers Union of Amer­ica ( TWUA) signed its first con­tract with TCF Canada. The one-year con­tract gave work­ers a base hourly wage of $1.20 an hour. The base wage for trades­men was $1.65. The work week was set at 42 hours with dou­ble time paid on Sun­days. ... Roland Mercier and John En­twistle won the men’s two-ball tour­na­ment at Corn­wall Golf and Coun­try Club. ... Tom Spar­row and Bill Hart com­pleted the four-year ap­pren­tice­ship pro­gram at Howard Smith Pa­per Mill, the first to com­plete the pro­gram. ... A Track Road man who pleaded guilty to caus­ing a dis­tur­bance was given a 30- day jail term by Mag­is­trate P. C. Berg­eron. ... Stor­mont Pro­gres­sive Con­ser­va­tive As­so­ci­a­tion named Harrison Cor­ners farmer and for­mer MPP John Lawrence Mac­don­ald its can­di­date for the Aug. 10 fed­eral elec­tion. The Lib­er­als named long-serv­ing MP Lionel Chevrier their can­di­date. ... The Mer­maid Fish and Chip Shop, 135 Mon­treal Rd. (across from the Roxy Theatre); Pear­son’s Fur­ni­ture, 30 Syd­ney St.; Frenette’s Used Car lot, 711 Pitt St.; The Youth Cen­tre, Third and Pitt streets; R. C. Lemire Paints, Mon­treal Road; The Ad­vance Shop, 250 Pitt St.; Fournier Fur­ni­ture, 231 Pitt St.

TRIVIA AN­SWER: The Na­tional Hockey League statis­tic for­mer Corn­wall Roy­als’ play­ers Rod Wil­lard and Jeff Ea­tough share with Hockey Night in Canada’s Don Cherry and Carolina Hur­ri­canes’ gen­eral man­ager Don Waddell is that each played just one game in the NHL.

TRIVIA: For­mer Stor­mont MP Lionel Chevrier, who served as fed­eral trans­port min­is­ter, laid the corner­stone for this fed­eral build­ing on Nov. 1, 1954.

PEARLS OF WIS­DOM Be­fore Donald Trump and fake news there was Harold Bal­lard, the can­tan­ker­ous owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs who once looked up at the Gar­dens’ press box and told side­kick King Clancy, “You can’t be­lieve any­thing those guys write. They’re all smok­ing mar­i­juana up there.”

PILON IS­LAND COT­TAGE! LOT 3-3 PILON IS­LAND, CORN­WALL K6H 5R5 Great value for this pri­vate cot­tage lo­cated on Pilon Is­land! This cot­tage is only a few min­utes away from Corn­wall by boat / wa­ter to your very own dock, fire pit, and ve­ran­dah seat­ing area for en­ter­tain­ment with fam­ily, and friends. This east fac­ing cot­tage has a gor­geous view of the Saint Lawrence River. Large dock can han­dle (2) two boats, and the river bed is car­peted / mat­ted to make for nice swim­ming, and easy clean­ing, and con­trol of ze­bra mus­sels. This cot­tage fea­tures (3) three bed­rooms (can sleep up to (8) eight), and (1) one par­tial bath. The large shaded ve­ran­dah is cov­ered and is ap­prox. 148 sq. ft. The front door, and large pa­tio door leads to an open con­cept kitchen / eat­ing area, and liv­ing room. All ap­pli­ances, and fur­ni­ture in­cluded! $49,900 MLS®1111399 KRISTOF­FER LADOUCEUR

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