Mom wears a thong; girls want to fol­low suit

St. Thomas Times-Journal - - SPORTS -

Dear Amy: I am a 31-year-old mom. My two daugh­ters are seven and five.

When we go to the beach, I al­ways wear a thong or G-string bot­tom. My daugh­ters have started to scrunch their bathing suit bot­toms so their suits look like mine.

When we were shop­ping for new suits, my 7-year-old asked for a thong or G-string suit, just like the ones I wear.

She could not find one in the girls’ depart­ment, and was very dis­ap­pointed. My mother sug­gested that I buy a reg­u­lar suit and take it to a seam­stress and have it al­tered.

I don’t know if it’s ap­pro­pri­ate for a 7-year-old to wear a thong or G-string bathing suit bot­tom. What do you think? — WON­DER­ING MOM Dear Mom: A good and ba­sic rule to re­mem­ber (in this and all things) is: If you’re won­der­ing if some­thing is ap­pro­pri­ate, then it prob­a­bly isn’t. This ap­plies to be­hav­ior and bathing suits.

The rea­son your daugh­ters couldn’t find a thong or G-string bathing suit bot­tom in the girls’ depart­ment is be­cause in this cul­ture thongs and G-strings are con­sid­ered “sexy,” and thus not suit­able for chil­dren.

Chil­dren should be dressed in ways that make it com­fort­able for them to swim and play. They are not miniadults, and are not old enough to un­der­stand the sort of ob­jec­ti­fi­ca­tion that of­ten ac­com­pa­nies the suit that you choose to wear.

And while I agree that this ob­jec­ti­fi­ca­tion is wrong, you should pro­tect your daugh­ters from it while they are young.

Dear Amy: My hus­band, his par­ents and his sis­ter ro­tate host­ing du­ties for Thanks­giv­ing ev­ery year. It’s our turn.

My hus­band and I de­cided to do some­thing dif­fer­ent this year. We did not want to worry about cook­ing or clean­ing up, so we re­served (and paid for) a pri­vate Thanks­giv­ing Day din­ner at a pop­u­lar steak­house. We had no ex­pec­ta­tion of any­one pay­ing for their meal; we only hoped it would be a good time.

My hus­band men­tioned the restau­rant plan to his mother, and she im­me­di­ately said that they would not be par­tic­i­pat­ing. She wants a “tra­di­tional” Thanks­giv­ing, and said we were “lazy” for host­ing at a restau­rant.

She also told my sis­ter-in-law that we must have money to waste, and is try­ing to con­vince her to host Thanks­giv­ing her­self, in­stead of com­ing to the restau­rant with us.

My sis­ter-in-law is try­ing to make ev­ery­one happy, and hasn’t com­mit­ted to any­thing yet. My mother-in­law has dug in and re­fuses to even dis­cuss the topic with us any­more.

I am hurt by this re­ac­tion. How­ever, I do not feel we should change our plans be­cause of her, or just give in, when our in­ten­tion was to do some­thing nice. What should we do? — WON­DER­ING Dear Won­der­ing: You need to re­al­ize that it’s pos­si­ble that if you an­nounced to your mother-in-law that you were host­ing at your home but would be serv­ing lob­ster in­stead of tra­di­tional turkey, she might have a prob­lem.

Many peo­ple have a spe­cific vi­sion of what this hol­i­day is sup­posed to be about, and her vi­sion seems to be one of you, labour­ing over a roast­ing pan, bast­ing a turkey.

But if it’s your turn and whether you want to host this at a steak­house, a Chi­nese restau­rant or at the Tim Hor­tons on the high­way, then your fam­ily should give it a try.

No sulk­ing al­lowed.

AMY DICKINSON

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