Dad goes all Liam Nee­son over daugh­ter’s pot fine

St. Thomas Times-Journal - - LIFE - Email: askamy@tri­ Twit­ter: @ask­ingamy AMY DICKINSON

Dear Amy: My daugh­ter is 19. Her boyfriend is 18.

Over the sum­mer, they were busted for smok­ing mar­i­juana in her car.

The of­fi­cer gave them the op­tion of let­ting just one of them take the fall.

My daugh­ter vol­un­teered; I con­sid­ered this a very bad de­ci­sion. If this gets on her record she will lose her fi­nan­cial aid and col­lege will be, if not im­pos­si­ble, very, very hard. Her boyfriend, how­ever, comes from a very well-heeled fam­ily.

Re­gard­less, she said that she would take the ci­ta­tion and he would pay the fine. Well, the case has now been heard and it was plea bar­gained down to a lower of­fence, but it comes with pro­ba­tion and $700 in costs/at­tor­ney’s fees.

Her boyfriend has paid her $200. She says she is fine with that.

I am NOT fine with that. He’s well-off. She is broke, and is work­ing while go­ing to a lo­cal col­lege. He’s off at a uni­ver­sity, and I think she’s wor­ried that if she makes a big deal about this, he’ll re­con­sider the re­la­tion­ship. But Amy, if she gets busted any­time in the next three years, her ed­u­ca­tion is in jeop­ardy, while in his eyes this episode is over.

I’m think­ing about send­ing him a text say­ing that he has a cou­ple of weeks to pay up, or else I’ll pay a visit to his par­ents and tell them the story.

I be­lieve one of his un­cles was of­fer­ing him $2,000 to stay ‘drugfree’ through high school, although I do not know if this money was paid.

Is this too petty? Is this my busi­ness at all? She is an adult but she’s still my daugh­ter, and I think she’s be­ing taken ad­van­tage of. — AN­GRY AND BE­FUD­DLED DAD

Dear An­gry: Your daugh­ter “took the fall” for smok­ing mar­i­juana in her car.

She was smok­ing. In her car. She got caught.

Your daugh­ter’s own ac­tions have jeop­ar­dized her fi­nan­cial and ed­u­ca­tional fu­ture, and she has ac­cepted the con­se­quences.

The way for her not to fur­ther jeop­ar­dize her fu­ture is to not get busted again. She should check to see if her record will be ex­punged af­ter her pro­ba­tion­ary pe­riod is over.

Yes, if you want to end this re­la­tion­ship be­tween your daugh­ter and Richie Rich, then def­i­nitely send him a threat­en­ing text.

Un­der­stand, how­ever, that this will un­der­mine your daugh­ter’s own (so far) adult-like ac­cep­tance of her le­gal and fi­nan­cial penalty. She would also be right­fully very up­set with you for in­ter­fer­ing like a char­ac­ter from a Liam Nee­son movie.

No, this is not your busi­ness, un­less you are pay­ing your daugh­ter’s bills — and it doesn’t sound as if you are.

You should al­ways en­cour­age her to stand up for her­self, in­clud­ing when some­one owes her money.

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