Hubby se­cre­tive about trip to Ve­gas. Am I right to be up­set?

StarMetro Calgary - - DAILY LIFE - Ellie

Q: Sev­eral months ago, my hus­band planned a trip to Las Ve­gas with his bud­dies. I wasn’t pleased about it only be­cause it was his friend who told me the plan.

A week later, he told me that a mu­tual fe­male friend was also join­ing them. I ex­pected the friend to tell me

that she was part of the trip. She didn’t. I was up­set. We haven’t spo­ken since.

I don’t think this is a mat­ter of who’s right or wrong but rather one of re­spect and con­sid­er­a­tion. Your thoughts, please.

His Pri­vate Plans

A: It’s not clear to whom you’re not speak­ing.… If it’s your fe­male friend, that’s a side is­sue to re­solve.

If it’s si­lence be­tween you and your hus­band, it’s se­ri­ously wrong.

In any union, one needs to know when a part­ner’s tak­ing

off on a trip — as a cour­tesy, and as a re­spect­ful check that the tim­ing doesn’t in­ter­fere with the other per­son’s needs.

Speak up. Tell him you’re hurt that he didn’t tell you about the trip and that you’re more hurt that this woman’s in­volve­ment is al­most se­cre­tive.

There may be a rea­son­able ex­pla­na­tion, so don’t re­act ahead of get­ting an an­swer. Un­less you don’t get one.

A reader asks, how can I make the peo­ple around me un­der­stand that I’m not an abuser? More Ellie ad­vice at thes­tar.com/askel­lie

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