My house guest re­places the toi­let pa­per roll wrong

Shouldn’t a guest fol­low my method in my home?

StarMetro Edmonton - - DAILY LIFE - ELLEN VANSTONE Need ad­vice? Email: askellen@torstar­

Dear Ellen,

I have a house guest who is ex­tremely thought­ful and help­ful. For ex­am­ple, he no­tices when the garbage or com­post is full, and takes it out.

But I no­tice he re­places the toi­let pa­per roll wrong. He in­stalls it with the pa­per com­ing out the bot­tom of the roll in­stead of over the top.

I re­al­ize that might be his pref­er­ence. But shouldn’t he no­tice how I do it and fol­low MY ex­am­ple in MY home?

I don’t want to com­plain to him, but I’m afraid if I flip it around, he will feel it as a re­buke.

How should I deal with this?


Dear P.K.,

You ap­pear to be a clas­sic over-thinker. And while I ap­plaud any kind soul who takes the time to con­sider an­other per­son’s feel­ings, be care­ful not to let your em­pa­thy ma­chin­ery veer off-track into para­noia ter­ri­tory.

Be­lieve it or not, some of the peo­ple who visit your home sim­ply won’t no­tice whether you hang your toi­let pa­per over or un­der. I know this hardly seems pos­si­ble to per­fec­tion­ists like us who have our pri­or­i­ties straight when it comes to these grave mat­ters.

But if your friend is as thought­ful as you say, I sus­pect he’s one of the obliv­i­ous ones, and there­fore he's prob­a­bly just re­plac­ing the roll willy-nilly and not in­cor­rectly in de­lib­er­ate de­fi­ance of your vastly su­pe­rior over-the-top tech­nique.

As for your wor­ries that he might feel silently re­buked if you flip the roll around, that is not your prob­lem.

As­sum­ing he’s obliv­i­ous in the first place, he won’t no­tice which way it’s hang­ing, as long as there’s enough of it to meet his needs.

If he does no­tice, he can al­ways bring it up with you if he wants, at which point you can have a rous­ing dis­cus­sion of how his un­der-rolling ways are wrong, and your over-rolling ways are right.

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