Friends could have re­turned with more than just sou­venirs

SundayXtra - - LIFE / SCIENCE -

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just came back from a hol­i­day with my bud­dies who got chummy with the lo­cal ladies, who were ex­pe­ri­enced at spong­ing off tourists. Th­ese women al­ways needed a lit­tle money for the rent. We all made sure we had our own rooms. I am the shyest of the bunch and didn’t go with any woman. When we got home I sug­gested they get tested for sex­u­ally trans­mit­ted in­fec­tions, and they laughed and said noth­ing like that hap­pens any­more. Should I keep bug­ging them? — Care­ful Guy, Man­i­toba Dear Care­ful Guy: Sure, bug them more. Your bud­dies couldn’t be more wrong. There are lots of med­i­cal sur­prises af­ter hol­i­days like that. Th­ese guys just aren’t read­ing sta­tis­tics or talk­ing to their doc­tors about it. Hope­fully, they used con­doms ev­ery time they had sex on that hol­i­day, even if the ladies didn’t in­sist. Many of the women don’t in­sist be­cause they are afraid guys will turn them away, and they won’t get the money they des­per­ately need. Ev­ery­body in your group should have got tested the minute they got home, just to know they’re not go­ing to be sick or spread­ing an in­fec­tion around. They may need treat­ment right away. That goes dou­ble if they are sin­gle and get­ting it on with dif­fer­ent women, and triple if they have a girl­friend or wife here in Canada wait­ing for them. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a fight with my pot­ty­mouthed wife when she wouldn’t lis­ten to what I wanted from the store — my damn cig­a­rettes. She was in a hurry and cursed me while she when out the door. Then I hear she got mad with some­one in front of her hold­ing up the line buy­ing lot­tery tick­ets. So she called this woman in front of her a few choice names be­hind her back. My wife can keep her lips to­gether and mut­ter swear words like a ven­tril­o­quist. You won­der where they are com­ing from at first, un­til you get to know her. The woman who got cursed called for the man­ager, pointed at my wife and told him what she had said. The per­son be­hind my wife couldn’t hear the curse words be­cause my wife had mut­tered them, so she got away with it. She came home with­out my cig­a­rettes and bragged about what she did. Then, in one of those flashes you have in a mar­riage, I thought, “I hate you. You are a pushy, ma­nip­u­la­tive, ly­ing witch. You are a piece of stink­ing garbage. Why did I ever marry you?” What should I do? — Hate Her So Bad Some­times, St. James Dear Hate Her So Bad Some­times: Don’t be hasty. Just cool off. You ac­tu­ally sound like a per­fect match. You speak the same lan­guage: sailor’s English. You just don’t like it when both of you are in a bad mood. You are ac­tu­ally brag­ging and com­plain­ing about her at the same time. You think her ven­tril­o­quism of dirty words is clever, and you like her spicy talk when you’re not mad at each other. You mar­ried her and loved her above all others. You can’t tell me she just learned to swear like this re­cently! Re­mem­ber how much hate you felt for your broth­ers or sis­ters when you were young and re­ally mad at them? And how much dis­gust you felt look­ing at their “ugly faces?” It’s the same thing with spouses. Some­times they to­tally de­test each other for a few hours. It’s OK to hate some­one you love for a short amount of time if it doesn’t hap­pen too of­ten — it’s just part of the deal. Please send your ques­tions and com­ments to love­coach@hot­ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Win­nipeg Free Press, 1355 Moun­tain Ave., Win­nipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

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