Friends could have returned with more than just souvenirs
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just came back from a holiday with my buddies who got chummy with the local ladies, who were experienced at sponging off tourists. These women always needed a little money for the rent. We all made sure we had our own rooms. I am the shyest of the bunch and didn’t go with any woman. When we got home I suggested they get tested for sexually transmitted infections, and they laughed and said nothing like that happens anymore. Should I keep bugging them? — Careful Guy, Manitoba Dear Careful Guy: Sure, bug them more. Your buddies couldn’t be more wrong. There are lots of medical surprises after holidays like that. These guys just aren’t reading statistics or talking to their doctors about it. Hopefully, they used condoms every time they had sex on that holiday, even if the ladies didn’t insist. Many of the women don’t insist because they are afraid guys will turn them away, and they won’t get the money they desperately need. Everybody in your group should have got tested the minute they got home, just to know they’re not going to be sick or spreading an infection around. They may need treatment right away. That goes double if they are single and getting it on with different women, and triple if they have a girlfriend or wife here in Canada waiting for them. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a fight with my pottymouthed wife when she wouldn’t listen to what I wanted from the store — my damn cigarettes. She was in a hurry and cursed me while she when out the door. Then I hear she got mad with someone in front of her holding up the line buying lottery tickets. So she called this woman in front of her a few choice names behind her back. My wife can keep her lips together and mutter swear words like a ventriloquist. You wonder where they are coming from at first, until you get to know her. The woman who got cursed called for the manager, pointed at my wife and told him what she had said. The person behind my wife couldn’t hear the curse words because my wife had muttered them, so she got away with it. She came home without my cigarettes and bragged about what she did. Then, in one of those flashes you have in a marriage, I thought, “I hate you. You are a pushy, manipulative, lying witch. You are a piece of stinking garbage. Why did I ever marry you?” What should I do? — Hate Her So Bad Sometimes, St. James Dear Hate Her So Bad Sometimes: Don’t be hasty. Just cool off. You actually sound like a perfect match. You speak the same language: sailor’s English. You just don’t like it when both of you are in a bad mood. You are actually bragging and complaining about her at the same time. You think her ventriloquism of dirty words is clever, and you like her spicy talk when you’re not mad at each other. You married her and loved her above all others. You can’t tell me she just learned to swear like this recently! Remember how much hate you felt for your brothers or sisters when you were young and really mad at them? And how much disgust you felt looking at their “ugly faces?” It’s the same thing with spouses. Sometimes they totally detest each other for a few hours. It’s OK to hate someone you love for a short amount of time if it doesn’t happen too often — it’s just part of the deal. Please send your questions and comments to firstname.lastname@example.org or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.