GaGu, I keep breaking my watch. What’s the answer?

There is a solution, Colin, and you may not be surprised to hear that it’s a Casio G-Shock. There’s a small army of these ultra-rugged timepieces, but the roughest of the rough – the Panzer division – are the Mudmaster GWG-1000 sub-range.

Wrought from stainless steel and resin, these wearables are much like GaGu himself: chunky, handsome and with all of their holes carefully sealed so that mud can’t get in. They pack a thermometer, a barometer and an altimeter, and sync their time regularly with an atomic clock via radio. Price: from about £500 (gshock.com).

“LIKE GURU, THESE WEARABLES ARE CHUNKY, HANDSOME AND HAVE ALL THEIR HOLES SEALED SO THAT MUD CAN ’T GET IN”