Drink­ing wine and making cat fur­ni­ture

How to build your cat a play­thing with­out break­ing the bank.

The Coast - Pets Halifax - - Tool Time - BY HIL­LARY WIND­SOR

It’s one thing to be an in­debted post-grad us­ing curb sides and Ki­jiji as the pri­mary av­enue for ac­quir­ing fur­ni­ture, but where does one go to pur­chase fur­ni­ture for a fe­line?

Cat fur­ni­ture: Lit­tle claw­ing posts and bas­ket trees and ham­mock swings. These things are costly. Like, half-your-rent costly. I know. I don’t get it ei­ther. Wouldn’t it be eas­ier (and cheaper) to just grab some wood and car­pet scraps and make some cat fur­ni­ture all your own?

I grew up strictly a dog per­son. My nana had a cat named Tig­ger that was 145 years old and he was so old and cranky and hissy and pissy and all I wanted to do was squeeze him and love him. But he felt I was in­fe­rior, un­wor­thy, et al. So, I went on liv­ing my en­tire life build­ing up walls. Cat walls.

Un­til one day, a timid tuxedo waltzed into my life and into my heart for­ever. Now he is my one true son. The fruit of my life—the Cat to my Stevens.

So any­way, I built him a thing. I also drank a bot­tle of wine. Kind of a Drunk His­tory meets Home Im­prove­ment project.

When I first be­gan my search for a DIY cat-thing in­struc­tional, I re­al­ized projects seem to fall into one of two cat­e­gories: 1) Projects that are very com­pli­cated and un­re­al­is­tic for a hu­man such as my­self (in­volv­ing power saws, com­passes and gen­uine ded­i­ca­tion); 2) Projects that pro­duce painfully sim­ple heaps of junk (two card­board cylin­ders sta­pled to­gether). So, I found a happy medium—a play­thing made out of wine crates (half the work was al­ready done). Among the thou­sands of Pin­ter­est op­tions, I chose to go with one la­belled DIY Cat Tree with Wine Crate, be­cause it gave me a warm, trusted feel­ing.

Af­ter pick­ing up two dis­carded vino tinto crates from the NSLC, I snatched some car­pety bits from the lo­cal dol­lar store and then bought some nails from the hard­ware store. If you’re look­ing for a type of nail to re­pro­duce these re­sults on your own, tough luck—I bought two dif­fer­ent kinds, which I used, com­pletely ar­bi­trar­ily, at ran­dom through­out the construction process.

Pulling up a photo of the wine crate in­spi­ra­tion on Pin­ter­est, I got to work. In­dulging in a bot­tle of cheap red wine and com­pletely ig­nor­ing the tu­to­rial’s steps, I pro­ceeded solely off the gen­eral vibe of it all.

For about two hours, I was ag­gres­sively nail­ing wine crates to­gether, burst­ing into in­ter­mit­tent ar­gu­ments with my boyfriend (bless you, Mark) and chal­leng­ing my cat to “just GO IN­SIDE IT” be­tween ev­ery 10 min­utes of progress. The up­stairs neigh­bours def­i­nitely dug that.

I ended up do­ing a not-ter­ri­ble job of making a wine crate cat-tree, if I do say so my­self—up­hol­stered with crappy, cut-up car­pet on its in­te­rior, all-pur­pose craft glue seep­ing out from un­der­neath it and hastily-nailed metal pins jut­ting out from its sides. The cat sort of likes it (I think?), but also sort of couldn’t care less about any­thing in his en­tire life.

De­spite all this ef­fort, time and steady slosh­ing of red wine, the cat’s at­ten­tion is sooner stolen by a sim­ple toy I’d made for him ear­lier that same day out of three pa­per­clips and a clothes­pin, linked to­gether and thrown on the floor.


Build­ing cat fur­ni­ture is only slightly eas­ier with thumbs.

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