Free Will As­trol­ogy

Tap into some realms, Aquarius,

The Coast - - FREE WILL ASTROLOGY - Send shoutouts to bday@the­ says ROB BREZSNY

Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22) It’s a favourable time to fan­ta­size about how to suck more cash into your life. You have en­tered a phase when eco­nomic mojo is eas­ier to con­jure than usual. Are you ready to en­gage in some prac­ti­cal mea­sures to take ad­van­tage of the cos­mic trend? And by that I don’t mean play­ing the lottery or steal­ing strangers’ wal­lets or scan­ning the side­walk for fallen money as you stroll. Get in­tensely real and se­ri­ous about en­hanc­ing your fi­nan­cial for­tunes. What are three spe­cific ways you’re ig­no­rant about get­ting and han­dling money? Ed­u­cate your­self.

Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22) Let’s meet in the woods af­ter mid­night and tell each other sto­ries about our ori­gins, re­veal­ing the se­crets we al­most for­got we had. Let’s sing the songs that elec­tri­fied our emo­tions all those years ago when we first fell in love with our lives. Starlight will glow on our an­cient faces. The fra­grance of loam will seep into our voices like rain­wa­ter feed­ing the trees’ roots. We’ll feel the earth turn­ing on its axis, and sense the rum­ble of fu­ture mem­o­ries com­ing to greet us. We’ll join hands, gaze into the dreams in each other’s eyes, and dive as deep as we need to go to find hid­den trea­sures.

Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) I don’t usu­ally rec­om­mend giv­ing gifts with strings at­tached. On the con­trary, I ad­vise you to of­fer your bless­ings with­out hav­ing any ex­pec­ta­tions at all. Gen­eros­ity of­ten works best when the re­cip­i­ents are free to use it any way they see fit. In the com­ing weeks, how­ever, I’m mak­ing an ex­cep­tion to my rule. Ac­cord­ing to my read­ing of the omens, now is a time to be spe­cific and force­ful about the way you’d like your gifts to be used. As an ex­am­ple of how not to pro­ceed, con­sider the ven­ture cap­i­tal­ist who do­nated $25,000 to the Univer­sity of Colorado. All he got in re­turn was a rest room in a cam­pus build­ing named af­ter him. If you give away $25,000, Scorpio, make sure you at least get a whole build­ing named af­ter you.

Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) Now that you’re get­ting a taste of what life would be like if you ruled the world, I’ll rec­om­mend a man­ual. It’s called How To Start Your Own

Coun­try, by Er­win Strauss. You could study it for tips on how to ob­tain na­tional sovereignty, how to re­cruit new cit­i­zens and how to avoid pay­ing taxes to your­self. (PS: You can make dra­matic strides to­ward be­ing the boss of your­self and your destiny even with­out form­ing your own na­tion.)

Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19) There was a time when not even the most am­bi­tious ex­plor­ers climbed moun­tains. In the western world, the first time it hap­pened was in 1492, when a French­man named An­toine de Ville as­cended to the top of Mont Aigu­ille, us­ing lad­ders, ropes, and other props. I see you as hav­ing a kin­ship with de Ville in the com­ing weeks, Capricorn. I’d love to see you em­bark on a big ad­ven­ture that would in­volve you try­ing on the role of a pioneer. This feat wouldn’t nec­es­sar­ily re­quire stren­u­ous train­ing and phys­i­cal courage. It might be more about dar­ing cre­ativ­ity and moral courage.

Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) Science fic­tion pro­poses that there are al­ter­nate worlds along­side the vis­i­ble one—hid­den, yes, but per­haps ac­ces­si­ble with the right knowl­edge or luck. In re­cent years, mav­er­ick physi­cists have given the idea more cred­i­bil­ity, the­o­riz­ing that par­al­lel uni­verses ex­ist right next to ours. Even if these hy­po­thet­i­cal places aren’t lit­er­ally real, they serve as an ex­cel­lent metaphor. Most of us are so thor­oughly em­bed­ded in our own cho­sen niche that we are obliv­i­ous to the re­al­i­ties that other peo­ple in­habit. I bring these thoughts to your at­ten­tion, Aquarius, be­cause it’s a favourable time to tap into those al­ter­nate, par­al­lel, se­cret, un­known or unofficial realms. Wake up to the rich sources that have been so close to you, but so far away.

Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) I’m al­ways in favour of you cul­ti­vat­ing a ro­bust re­la­tion­ship with your pri­mal long­ings. But I’ll be root­ing ex­tra hard for you to do that dur­ing the next 11 months. I hope you will dig deep to iden­tify your pri­mal long­ings, and I hope you will re­vere them as the well­spring of your life en­ergy and I hope you will fig­ure out all the tricks and strate­gies you will need to ful­fill them. Here’s a hint about how to achieve the best re­sults as you do this no­ble work: De­fine your pri­mal long­ings with as much pre­ci­sion as you can, so that you will never pur­sue pass­ing fan­cies that bear just a su­per­fi­cial re­sem­blance to the real things.

Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19) You’re half-in­tox­i­cated by your puz­zling ad­ven­tures—and half-be­wil­dered, as well. Some­times you’re spin­ning out fancy moves, sweet tricks and sur­pris­ing gam­bits. On other oc­ca­sions you’re stum­bling and bum­bling and mum­bling. Are you re­ally go­ing to keep up this rhythm? I hope so, be­cause your per­sis­tence in nav­i­gat­ing through the chal­leng­ing fun could gen­er­ate big re­wards. Like what, for ex­am­ple? Like the re­demp­tive trans­for­ma­tion of a mess into an as­set.

Taurus (Apr 20-May 20) “Free your mind and your ass will fol­low,” sings funk pioneer Ge­orge Clin­ton in his song “Good Thoughts, Bad Thoughts.” And what’s the best way to free your mind? Clin­ton ad­vises you to “Be care­ful of the thought-seeds you plant in the gar­den of your mind.” That’s be­cause the ideas you ob­sess on will even­tu­ally grow into the ex­pe­ri­ences you at­tract into your life. “Good thoughts bring forth good fruit,” he croons, while “Bull­shit thoughts rot your meat.” Any ques­tions, Taurus? Ac­cord­ing to my as­tro­log­i­cal anal­y­sis, this is the best pos­si­ble coun­sel for you to re­ceive right now.

Gemini (May 21-Jun 20) James Loewen wrote a book called Lies My Teacher Told Me: Ev­ery­thing Your Amer­i­can His­tory Text­book Got Wrong. He said, for in­stance, that dur­ing the Euro­peans’ in­va­sion and con­quest of the con­ti­nent, it wasn’t true that Na­tive Amer­i­cans scalped white set­tlers. In fact, it was mostly the other way around: Whites scalped Na­tive Amer­i­cans. Here’s an­other ex­am­ple: The fa­mous blind and deaf per­son, He­len Keller, was not a sen­ti­men­tal spokesper­son for sweet­ness and light, but rather a rad­i­cal feminist and so­cial­ist who ad­vo­cated rev­o­lu­tion. I in­vite you to ap­ply Loewen’s in­ves­tiga­tive ap­proach to your per­sonal past, Gemini. The com­ing weeks will be an ex­cel­lent time to un­cover hid­den, in­com­plete and dis­torted ver­sions of your his­tory, and cor­rect them.

Can­cer (Jun 21-Jul 22) Roger Hodge writes books now, but when he worked for Harper’s, he had an un­usual spe­cialty. He gath­ered heaps of quirky facts, and as­sem­bled sev­eral at a time into long sen­tences that had a nutty po­etic grace: “Bri­tish cat­tle have re­gional ac­cents, ele­phants mourn their dead, nico­tine sobers drunk rats, sci­en­tists have con­cluded that teenagers are phys­i­cally in­ca­pable of be­ing con­sid­er­ate, and clin­i­cal tri­als of an ’or­gas­ma­tron’ are un­der­way in North Carolina.” I’m of­fer­ing Hodge as a wor­thy role model for you in the com­ing weeks, Cance­rian. Be cu­ri­ous, mis­cel­la­neous and free-flow­ing. Let your mind wan­der lux­u­ri­antly as you make un­ex­pected con­nec­tions. Cap­i­tal­ize on the po­ten­tial bless­ings that ap­pear through zesty twists and tangy turns.

Leo (Jul 23-Aug 22) In Ja­pan you can buy a brand of candy that’s called The Great Bud­dha’s Nose Snot. Each piece con­sists of a rice puff that re­sem­bles the Bud­dha’s nose filled with bits of brown su­gar that sym­bol­ize the snot. The candy-mak­ing com­pany as­sures cus­tomers that eat­ing this treat brings them good luck. I in­vite you to be equally earthy and ir­rev­er­ent about your own spir­i­tual val­ues in the com­ing days. You’re in prime po­si­tion to hu­man­ize your re­la­tion­ship with di­vine in­flu­ences... to de­velop a more vis­ceral pas­sion for your holi­est ideals... to trans­late your no­blest as­pi­ra­tions into prac­ti­cal, en­joy­able ac­tions.

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