So you think church is boring?
A year ago, I published in The Compass a collection of bloopers that have appeared in church bulletins hither and yon. I subtitled my column, “An antidote for church boredom.” The response was so good, I thought I would regale you with a second collection of bloopers, for your reading pleasure and personal inspiration.
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come and listen to Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
Hymn # 1: “All hail the pow’r of Jesus’ name! Let angels prostates fall.”
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 p. m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan, who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear. II. Disown your fear. III. Displace your rear.
Next Friday, we will be serving hotgods for lunch.
If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection basket.
Join us Nov. 12: An evening of boweling at Lincoln Country Club.
Women’s Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.
If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the
Hymn 65: “I Love Thee, My Ford.”
Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be baptized in water on the table in the foyer.
Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St. Mary’s Cathedral.
The District Superintendent will be meeting with the Church Bored.
As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing.
The Fifth Sinday of this month is Lent.
Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
Lent is a period of preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.
For the word of God is quick and powerful... piercing even to the dividing asunder of soup and spirit.
Glory to God in the highest, and
on earth peach to men.
The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working.
Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess.
This evening, there will be a hymn sing at the park. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs additional blood transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requested tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.
Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir; they need all the help they can get.
The sermon this morning: “ Jesus Walks on Water.” The sermon tonight: “ Searching for Jesus.”
The peacemaking meeting planned for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
Ladies: Don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
Miss Mason sang, “I Will Not Pass This Way Again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.
Hymn 61: “Angels, We Have Heard Get High.”
A song f e st was hel l a t t he Methodist church Wednesday.
Our Holy Redeemer youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 p. m. in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
The Rector wi l l preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing “Break Forth Into Joy.”
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their schooldays.
I wonder, Might I see you in church on Sunday, perusing the bulletin?