Po­lit­i­cal ap­pear­ances and a lit­tle ad­vice

The Compass - - OPINION -

How do we choose our po­lit­i­cal lead­ers? Var­i­ously at­trib­uted to Jay Leno or Ron­ald Rea­gan, among oth­ers, is the say­ing that "Pol­i­tics is show busi­ness for ugly peo­ple."

There are two kinds of ugly. I'm not re­fer­ring to phys­i­cal ug­li­ness here, but to the ac­tions of some of those we trusted to rep­re­sent us and to not line their own pock­ets. We have had some who took it way past ugly, in that re­gard.

There's no need to fear for a lack of new can­di­dates who will prom­ise us the moon and fail to de­liver even a small me­te­orite.

I'm still wait­ing for the politi­cian who will tell us that there is a world­wide short­age of large ir­reg­u­lar shaped rocks, and he can make us rich.

It's sur­pris­ing that no one, to my knowl­edge, has tried that one yet. Un­for­tu­nately, we as hu­man be­ings seem to grav­i­tate to the phys­i­cally at­trac­tive. Com­bine looks with some charisma, a good tai­lor and hair­dresser, a con­stant smile and the can­di­date has your at­ten­tion and as any sales­man knows, the first step to a sale is to get the cus­tomer's at­ten­tion.

They may be to­tal in­com­pe­tents but if we like them we'll vote for them. There's a fed­eral elec­tion com­ing be­fore too long. Will the ma­jor­ity vote for the charis­matic young man with the movie star good looks, or the in­cum­bent older grey-haired guy who al­ways looks awk­ward, or the guy with the beard? I'm bet­ting it will be Trudeau the Lesser.

I hope he is smart enough to sur­round him­self with the bright­est and most ded­i­cated.

There's a pro­vin­cial elec­tion com­ing soon, as well.

Will the top job go to the woman who had the cau­cus re­volt, or the woman who al­ready holds the po­si­tion, or the new­est of the three likely choices, Dwight Ball?

I don't think he will sweep, but I think he can win. Here are the rea­sons I be­lieve that. He looks the part. He looks good in a suit. Ev­ery hair is in place. Has a great smile.

He sounds sin­cere. Has a strong jaw line ac­tu­ally, a Flintstone chin. He looks like you could hit him there with a base­ball bat, and he'd just laugh and come back at you. Here's the clincher, though, he is also smart. Smart enough to take a lit­tle ad­vice, I be­lieve. So here it is: Dwight, don't look so darn per­fect all the time. I'd like to see you just once in an old pair of ripped jeans and a plaid work shirt, with about three days growth of beard, your hair all messed up, out there split­ting fire­wood or haul­ing up a boat.

You don't have to box any­one in the ring, though I'd prob­a­bly bet on you. Dress up when it's re­quired. You have proven that you will fit in fine at any state event or Townie time. But when you are out around the bay, try to look more like one of we. Some of us can re­late bet­ter to a "Bar­ney" Ball. — Lau­rie "Grandpa" Black­wood-Pike writes

from Pla­cen­tia

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