The griev­ing process is a com­pli­cated one

The Compass - - OPINION -

It’s been a down­trod­den cou­ple of weeks for res­i­dents in Con­cep­tion Bay North.

There have been a num­ber of sud­den deaths — five to be ex­act — leav­ing many to mourn the deaths of loved ones, fam­ily mem­bers and friends.

The most re­cent tragedy in­volved a pair of cousins who were the vic­tims of a fa­tal in­dus­trial ac­ci­dent.

For the last 14 days or so, a haze of grief has hung over the area for what seems like for­ever.

You have to feel for the fam­i­lies as they cope with their loses.

Sit­u­a­tions like th­ese are not easy on any one. From first re­spon­ders to by­standers, all feel a weight on their shoul­ders.

Grief is one of those feel­ings that af­fect you whether you are close to the vic­tims or not. Maybe grief isn’t the right word.

Per­haps em­pa­thy would be more suited to the sit­u­a­tion.

Take this pro­fes­sion for ex­am­ple. Jour­nal­ists are of­ten times tasked with speak­ing to a per­son at their low­est point, then quickly mov­ing to some­one at their high­est.

Many times, it is an emo­tional roller coaster that can take its toll on the psy­che.

It is a lit­tle off topic, but the em­pa­thy you feel for their sit­u­a­tion is what can break you. It takes a very ca­pa­ble per­son to han­dle it.

That is not just a jour­nal­ist thing. That is any­one tasked with work­ing with the fam­ily. Imag­ine a min­is­ter.

They go from fam­ily din­ners to con­sol­ing a hus­band who has said goodbye to the mother of his three chil­dren.

Ev­ery one grieves in their own way. Some are stronger than oth­ers. Some take it harder than oth­ers. But, one thing is for sure. It is all go­ing to take time. You have to give your­self time. There is no timetable for grief. It doesn’t punch a time card or check out when the morn­ing comes.

It will stay with you for a day, two days or three months. It won’t be easy. There is not a log­a­rithm that cal­cu­lates the so­lu­tion for you.

Take it a day at a time. Re­mem­ber who you need to be strong for.

Griev­ing is not a sci­ence; re­mem­ber to take care of your self.

— Ni­cholas Mercer is a re­porter/pho­tog­ra­pher with the Com­pass. He lives in Bay Roberts and can be reached at nmercer@cb­n­com­

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