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The Drumheller Mail - - FRONT PAGE -

Have you ever won­dered how old Mr. Clean is? The bald guy who is the shill for a house­hold cleaner that car­ries his name? Well, you came to the right place, my friend. He is 59 this year, first ap­pear­ing in 1957. Funny, the guy never seems to age.

Now be hon­est, did you ever think that all of the prob­lems in the world could be elim­i­nated with a "Fix-MeStick, a Swif­fer Mop, an Acorn Stair­lift, and a sam­ple pack of Cialis"?

Not say­ing this writer is any hockey ex­pert, but no­tice a lot of the NHL goalies th­ese days are do­ing a lot of stretch­ing to make saves, flop­ping down on the ice, and with the qual­ity of the for­wards th­ese days pick­ing the top cor­ner to eas­ily score, all the while the goalie is flat on the ice, help­less.

The best net­min­ders have more luck de­fend­ing shots by stay­ing on their skates, and cov­er­ing more of the net with their body, re­tain­ing mo­bil­ity to block re­bounds.

And as long as we are ex­press­ing opin­ions on hockey, es­pe­cially when no Cana­dian teams have any chance to make post-sea­son, an­other ob­ser­va­tion we have made over the past while is, man­agers can't ice win­ning teams by gath­er­ing an arm­ful of fu­ture draft picks. While teams may not have pay fu­ture draft picks, they don't score goals ei­ther. In­stant suc­cess doesn't come along very of­ten.

Heard the other day that more peo­ple died last year while tak­ing "self­ies", than were killed in shark at­tacks. The an­nouncer ex­plained this was due to peo­ple fall­ing off cliffs, or ve­hi­cle ac­ci­dents, while do­ing self pho­tos.

Re­ally, how many pho­tos of ones self do you need?

Hap­pened to be buy­ing TP the other day, and saw this on the pack­ag­ing.

Now read­ers know we can't re­sist a com­ment on some­thing as ab­surd as this "claim of su­pe­ri­or­ity" in the toi­let pa­per depart­ment.

So here goes.

We can only imag­ine that some­where in this world there is a test lab set up in or­der that the com­pany pro­duc­ing this much-needed com­mod­ity can test many brands that claim bet­ter re­moval qual­i­ties than oth­ers.

So then, who is the judge? And to what stan- dard is this claim held to? Is there a con­trol group for such a state­ment, and what brand are they us­ing to up­hold the claim that this one "re­moves more"? With that claim, is there a chief in­spec­tor, and what are his/her cre­den­tials. How does one give cred­i­bil­ity to this study, and how long does one have to keep the test sam­ples, should there be a dis­pute over re­moval su­pe­ri­or­ity?

Re­ally, wouldn't you agree that this pack­ag­ing raises more ques­tions than it an­swers?

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