Rum­sey & District Reg­is­ter

The Drumheller Mail - - CLASSIFIEDS - Patty Steen 403-368-3820

Well, here we are on the last day of Au­gust and sum­mer is quickly pass­ing us by. Some of the schools have al­ready drawn the kids back in­side their doors to start the learn­ing process all over again. Good luck to all those stu­dents and also to all the young adults headed off on a new ad­ven­ture of post-sec­ondary ed­u­ca­tion around the prov­ince. I hope you will find your ca­reer choice to be just what you want.

The Red Deer River Gar­den Show is on to­day so the show will be open to the pub­lic by 4 this af­ter­noon with sup­per start­ing at 5 and go­ing un­til 7:00 p.m. Come in and sup­port the Gar­den Club by buy­ing sup­per and see the great ex­hibits. The Rum­sey Li­brary will also be host­ing their cal­en­dar con­test with many lo­cal pho­tos to be judged so if you get a kick out of be­ing a judge come and join in on the fun. Each month’s pic­ture is cho­sen by pop­u­lar vote so more votes will give me a bet­ter idea of the best pic­ture.

There was a me­mo­rial held at the Mor­rin Hall yes­ter­day for Con­nie Rais­beck (Kashuba) to cel­e­brate her life. Our sym­pa­thies go out to the fam­i­lies.

Don’t for­get about the Se­niors in­for­ma­tion Ses­sion on Septem­ber 12 at the se­niors cen­ter in the Mor­rin Arena start­ing at 1:00 p.m. There will be in­for­ma­tion on Al­berta Se­niors Ben­e­fits, den­tal and op­ti­cal as­sis­tance for se­niors, prop­erty tax de­fer­ral, spe­cial needs as­sis­tance, Se­niors home adap­ta­tion and re­pair pro­gram. Sounds like lots to learn.

Hope this gives you a gig­gle:

A man de­cides to take off early from work and go drink­ing. He stays un­til the bar closes at 2 am, at which time he is ex­tremely drunk. When he en­ters his house, he doesn’t want to wake any­one, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip­toe­ing up the stairs. Half­way up the stairs, he falls over back­wards and lands flat on his rear end. That wouldn’t have been so bad, ex­cept that he had a cou­ple of empty pint bot­tles in his back pock­ets, and they broke, and the bro­ken glass carved up his but­tocks ter­ri­bly. But, he was so drunk that he didn’t know he was hurt.

A few min­utes later, as he was un­dress­ing, he no­ticed blood, so he checked him­self out in the mir­ror, and, sure enough, his be­hind was cut up some- thing ter­ri­ble. Well, he re­paired the dam­age as best he could un­der the cir­cum­stances, and he went to bed.

The next morn­ing, his head was hurt­ing, and his rear was hurt­ing, and he was hun­ker­ing un­der the cov­ers try­ing to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bed­room.

“Well, you re­ally tied one on last night,” she said. “Where’d you go?”

“I worked late,” he said, “and I stopped off for a cou­ple of beers.”

“A cou­ple of beers? That’s a laugh,” she replied. “You got plas­tered last night. Where the heck did you go?”

“What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, any­way?”

“Well,” she replied, “my first big clue was when I got up this morn­ing and found a bunch of bandaids stuck to the mir­ror.”

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