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The Georgia Straight - - Music -

LIGHT MAKES RIGHT Be­y­once’s 66-year-old dad, Mathew Knowles, has said his daugh­ter—as well as Solange, Ri­hanna, and Nicki Mi­naj—wouldn’t be nearly as suc­cess­ful if they had darker skin. Be­fore you snort at that, ask your­self why Cup­cakke’s “Duck Duck Goose” video hasn’t made her big­ger than Oprah. (Hint: it’s not the dil­dos.)

SMELLS LIKE BA­BIES A new T-mo­bile ad has reimag­ined Nir­vana’s “All Apolo­gies” as a chil­dren’s song, with glock­en­spiel re­plac­ing Kurt Cobain’s ser­rated gui­tar. The of­fi­cial song ac­com­pa­ny­ing all T-mo­bile bills re­mains “Rape Me”.

JUST SAY OZZY Ozzy Os­bourne has an­nounced a string of North Amer­i­can dates on his forth­com­ing farewell tour—but no Van­cou­ver show. Sayeth Ozzy: “Dash ish foo fuckin’ wazza hud fuckin’ bizzo, Toronto beffa fuckin’ hoopa. Shaaa ar­rrrooonnnn!”

OFF THE ROAD AGAIN Wil­lie Nel­son has been forced to can­cel sev­eral U.S. con­cert dates thanks to a bout of flu, which ought to be enough to prove con­clu­sively that—sorry, cannabis ad­vo­cates—weed doesn’t ac­tu­ally cure ev­ery­thing.

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