Keep your kids’ stuff out of your naughty pics

Dan Sav­age

The Georgia Straight - - Savage Love - By

I WAS IN­VOLVED with a straight man who en­joys cross-dress­ing and tak­ing ex­plicit photos. The prob­lem is that the props he uses be­long to his three chil­dren, all un­der age 12. For ex­am­ple, he dressed up as a slutty school­girl and wore his daugh­ter’s back­pack. He dressed up as a slutty cow­girl and posed with his son’s stuffed horse. He even had the horse eat­ing his “car­rot”. I told him he should not use his chil­dren’s things as props. He be­lieves that his chil­dren will never see the photos, so no harm will come of it. I’m hor­ri­fied at the thought of these kids (per­haps as adults) stum­bling over these pic­tures. He posts them on In­sta­gram and Face­book, so they aren’t pri­vate and he can’t con­trol where they go. It’s one of the rea­sons I ended the re­la­tion­ship. Is there any­thing I can say to him? Can­celled Def­i­nitely Promis­ing

Re­la­tion­ship Over Photo Ses­sions

You told him what he’s do­ing is wrong; you ex­plained the enor­mous risk he’s run­ning; and you dumped him, CDPROPS. You could take one last run at it and try to ex­plain that his chil­dren find­ing these photos isn’t one of those “low-risk, high-con­se­quence events”, i.e., some­thing that’s un­likely to hap­pen but would be ut­terly dis­as­trous if it did. (Think of the su­per­vol­cano that is Yel­low­stone Na­tional Park erupt­ing or a de­ranged, racist bil­lion­aire some­how man­ag­ing to win a U.S. presi- den­tial elec­tion.) Nope, if he’s post­ing these photos on­line, at least one of his chil­dren will stum­ble over them—or one of their friends will. (“Hey, isn’t this your dad? And your back­pack?”) Your ex needs to knock this shit off, and will most likely need the help of a men­tal-health pro in or­der to do so. I’M A 47-YEAR-OLD vir­gin straight man. What ad­vice can you give me on los­ing my vir­gin­ity?

- Want­ing And Hop­ing

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