Teen needs some ma­ture ad­vice

The Guardian (Charlottetown) - - COFFEE BREAK - Q A

- I'm 14 and a les­bian. I've had a crush on this FTM boy ( fe­male to male trans­gen­der) for 18 months, whom I’ve never met.

Right now he's a girl. My friend knows him and his girl­friend, and she isn’t some­one who makes up bluffs.

I don't know where he's go­ing for High School. I might never see him again.

Also, he's not com­fort­able be­ing a fe­male, and my sex­ual pref­er­ence is fe­males only. I've never felt at­tracted to males be­fore.

I've been told by friends that love has no bound­aries, and that sex­u­al­ity is just who you are.

Over the school year, we'd been mak­ing con­sis­tent eye-con­tact in the hall­ways, and I'm not sure if he likes me or not.

He looks so happy with his girl­friend, and he flirts with her in front of me some­times.

I should've said Hi the first time I saw him.

I be­came in­trigued, and now my eyes are con­stantly scan­ning the hall­ways. I'm scared that I'll never see him again.

I like to have con­trol over my life, I have to keep things in check or I rip my­self apart.

I know that I have so much ahead of me, but right now, this is what's hap­pen­ing I need con­trol. I need help. Feel­ing Lost

- You’re not “lost,” but you are feel­ing the pres­sures that some young teens face liv­ing in a com­plex en­vi­ron­ment.

You’re es­pe­cially at­tracted to peo­ple who seem in­ter­est­ing and unique, and also busy man­ag­ing your own iden­tity.

It’s clear that you’re al­ready a strong-minded per­son, but the drama of it all makes you feel help­less when you can’t con­trol what’s hap­pen­ing.

You need some­one you can talk to who has ma­tu­rity, ex­pe­ri­ence, and un­der­stand­ing.

If you have a par­ent who can be that guide, don’t hes­i­tate to open up. You don’t have to han­dle all things on your own.

If not, talk to a school coun­sel­lor, trusted adult, or con­nect with some­one at an agency that helps gay and les­bian youth.

PFLAG is an or­ga­ni­za­tion that can also help your par­ents un­der­stand you bet­ter.

It pro­motes the health and well­be­ing of gay, les­bian, bi­sex­ual and trans­gen­der per­sons, along with their fam­i­lies and friends.

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