Dear Abby

The Guardian (Charlottetown) - - FEATURES - Abi­gail Van Buren

Cou­ple deep in tax hole needs help in climb­ing out.

I have just learned that my sis­ter’s hus­band of 35 years (I’ll call him Ge­orge) hasn’t filed their per­sonal in­come taxes go­ing back a num­ber of years. This has caused a lot of stress and anx­i­ety for my sis­ter, who re­cently un­der­went breast can­cer treat­ment. Ap­par­ently, he hasn’t filed be­cause of his in­abil­ity to or­ga­nize. (His fam­ily has de­nial is­sues.)

Their pro­fes­sional tax pre­parer has met with both of them and tried to work out a step-bystep pro­gram, but Ge­orge con­sis­tently fails to meet the dead­lines.

I love my sis­ter and want to be as sup­port­ive as pos­si­ble, but I’m un­sure what I can do. I have ad­vised her to seek ther­apy. She has copies of busi­ness-re­lated doc­u­ments re­lat­ing to the un­filed tax pe­ri­ods, but not enough in­for­ma­tion to file on her own.

On top of ev­ery­thing else, she has sev­eral re­la­tion­ship is­sues with her chil­dren that are caus­ing her grief. What else can I do? — HELP­LESS BIG BROTHER

DEAR BROTHER: Fail­ure to file one’s taxes is a fed­eral crime that could land your brother-in-law and sis­ter in the slam­mer. That’s why you should urge your sis­ter to do some­thing she should have done years ago — take over the fam­ily fi­nances.

She and her hus­band may need more help than their CPA has been able to give them. A group that I have men­tioned in my col­umn be­fore is the Na­tional As­so­ci­a­tion of En­rolled Agents (NAEA). These are tax spe­cial­ists — some of whom are at­tor­neys and CPAs who are specif­i­cally li­censed by the Depart­ment of the Trea­sury. Tell your sis­ter to con­tact an en­rolled agent by vis­it­ing - to­day.

DEAR ABBY: I re­cently moved in with my boyfriend, “Teddy.” We are both in our 20s. Five years ago, he mar­ried his high school sweet­heart. Two years later, she cheated on him and left. Teddy and I have talked about the sit­u­a­tion count­less times. I know he doesn’t love her any­more and cares for me a lot.

Abby, I lose sleep over their re­la­tion­ship. I can’t stop think­ing about how she left him — not the other way around — and if he hadn’t caught her cheat­ing they would still be to­gether. I Google her to see if I can find out any­thing about them. I check her so­cial media sites mul­ti­ple times a day. I know I’m be­ing ridicu­lous, but I’m ob­sessed with her!

Teddy is such a car­ing man, he tells me ev­ery­thing I want to know, but my ob­ses­sion with her and their re­la­tion­ship is start­ing to get to him. I don’t want to lose him, but at the same time I won­der if I will have to leave be­cause I can’t get over their mar­riage. What should I do? — OB­SESSED IN OHIO

DEAR OB­SESSED: There’s an old say­ing that ap­plies to your sit­u­a­tion: One man’s trash is another man’s trea­sure.

Your boyfriend’s ex didn’t rec­og­nize what a prize she had, fouled the nest and threw him away. How lucky for you that she did.

I can un­der­stand your be­ing cu­ri­ous about her; what I can’t un­der­stand is your com­pul­sion to stalk her online. What she’s do­ing these days has no ef­fect on you or your re­la­tion­ship with Teddy.

If you keep this up, you will drive him away. If you can’t stop, find a li­censed men­tal health pro­fes­sional who can give you the tools to over­come your in­se­cu­rity. It will be money well spent.

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069. To re­ceive a col­lec­tion of Abby’s most mem­o­rable — and most fre­quently re­quested — po­ems and es­says, send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus cheque or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby — Keep­ers Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Canada

© PressReader. All rights reserved.