Dear Abby

The Guardian (Charlottetown) - - COMMUNITY - Abi­gail Van Buren Con­tact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

Teacher and heroin ad­dict share a ‘crazy chem­istry’.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a 24-yearold teacher and grad­u­ate stu­dent. I have started dat­ing a new man, “Win­ston,” who makes me feel in­cred­i­ble. We have crazy chem­istry like I’ve never had be­fore, and our per­son­al­i­ties work per­fectly to­gether.

Here’s the prob­lem. Win­ston is a re­cov­er­ing heroin ad­dict with hor­ri­ble credit and two felony charges re­lated to hav­ing stolen money from his par­ents when he was des­per­ate for drugs.

I know what you’re think­ing — I’d be an idiot for dat­ing some­one like this, right? But Win­ston and I have had heart­felt talks and he re­vealed a trou­bled up­bring­ing that helped me un­der­stand where his ad­dic­tion came from. He’s in a re­hab pro­gram to try to get his life to­gether.

I’ve dated a lot of guys. All I’ve ever wanted is some­one who will give me “but­ter­flies” for the rest of my life, and Win­ston may be the guy. He’s at­ten­tive, affectionate and lov­ing. He treats me like a princess. I un­der­stand his past will cause fi­nan­cial strain. Isn’t it more im­por­tant to have a man who treats me right than one with a lot of earn­ing po­ten­tial? Please give me some ad­vice. — DREAM COME TRUE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DREAM: You have been see­ing Win­ston for HOW long? Has he com­pleted his re­hab and been able to main­tain his sober lifestyle for a long enough time that the chances are it will con­tinue?

Few things are as ex­cit­ing as in­fat­u­a­tion — ev­ery one of our senses is height­ened. You say you feel “but­ter­flies,” but what if you wind up with only a moth­e­aten car­pet? This is not to say that Win­ston isn’t a won­der­ful per­son.

How­ever, I think it’s pre­ma­ture for you to con­sider a fu­ture with him un­til you are sure about his sta­bil­ity.

DEAR ABBY: My wid­owed 86year-old mom was liv­ing by her­self. My un­mar­ried sis­ter, “Anne,” has be­come ill and has moved in with Mom. Anne wanted a dog. At first Mom was against it be­cause they both have cats, but she fi­nally gave in and Anne got a year-old bea­gle mix from the dog res­cue.

I have been afraid of dogs since I was lit­tle. My fam­ily knows this. Usu­ally, once I get to know a dog I’m OK, and I have had sev­eral of my own. But this an­i­mal has aban­don­ment and abuse is­sues. He’s very ag­gres­sive and barks, growls and lunges at any­one who comes into the house. It makes me afraid, so I have quit vis­it­ing and hardly ever drop by. Mom and Anne have very lit­tle con­trol over the dog. I worry that in an emer­gency the EMTs would not be able to get past the an­i­mal. What can I do? -- SCARED IN IOWA

DEAR SCARED: Ex­plain to them that not all emer­gency med­i­cal tech­ni­cians (EMTs) have been for­mally trained to han­dle un­ruly or vi­cious an­i­mals, and pre­cious time might be lost. If your sis­ter or mother wasn’t around to con­trol the dog and the EMTs were un­able to lure it to another room, an­i­mal con­trol would have to be sum­moned or a neigh­bour found who could as­sist, and the con­se­quences could be se­ri­ous. Then cross your fin­gers that noth­ing bad hap­pens.

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