Trust key to long-distance love
- My long-distance relationship has become increasingly difficult. I’m afraid that it’s now fallen apart.
My partner deeply distrusts my fidelity, despite my best efforts to assure her of my commitment to her.
She’s insisted on having a shared password to my email account.
I relented and gave her this for a couple weeks, but then cancelled.
I’ve had some platonic friends for many years. After reading some of our communication, she’s insisted I cease communication with her, and drop contact with others.
It feels like blackmail and intrusion. Am I unreasonable thinking this way?
- You’re not clear about the communication with your friends, which is what set your partner off.
Lots of opposite-sex friends are casually flirty with each other, without taking it further. And many share personal thoughts and feelings, too.
But if that’s what she saw, it may’ve led her to believe that these indicated non-platonic connections.
So, whether you’re unreasonable, depends on the truth.
Frankly, I’m against giving someone whom you already knew was distrustful (evidenced by her request) your password, unless you’re squeaky clean, i.e. not flirtatious and not indiscreet.
I suspect that since you cancelled her access to your email account, you already trouble.
It seems your partner didn’t fully trust you from the get-go.
And that makes a long-distance relationship rife with anxieties and suspicions for her, and frustrations for you.
Now you’re backing away… but is that what you want?
If you love this woman, contact her one more time (by Skype) and say so.
Also, apologize if any of the emails she read crossed a line of what’s appropriate when you’re committed to another.
Otherwise, long distance may not be workable for you two.
TIP OF THE DAY
Long-distance relationships require mutual trust and respect to be successful.