Weigh your feelings on pre-nup
Q - I’m 55, a divorced father of three children, and four grandchildren. I’m dating a woman, 47, who lives in a different city with three very young children whom I haven’t met.
She doesn’t have a civil divorce yet, and her ex-husband has an arrangement in which he comes into the house to be with the kids and sometimes will stay there with them for the weekend (she will then look for a place to stay).
She’d like me to fly her here to see me when her husband’s at the house, but I’d like to spend time with her family as well.
Can this type of relationship lead to marriage ?
Also, she wants a pre-nuptial agreement to protect her interest in her house and other assets (which is fine) but she’d also like that any money I make would belong to both of us after marriage.
She needs her money for the family and because her ex would pay less if she remarries. Is that plan reasonable?
Am I better off to not get married and just enjoy the relationship for as long as it lasts?
A - Weigh your feelings about this woman. And get legal advice, too. She knows what she wants and needs from marriage, and so should you.
If you marry, yet live in two cities, she needs a different arrangement with her ex, such as his having his children’s’ visits at his own place.
If she eventually moves to your city, she can sell her home, work, and contribute to household expenses with you. Her husband would still have to contribute to basic child support.
As for sharing all your income, much depends on what you can afford beyond your own expenses (especially if she does not sell her house or doesn’t have a job).
Love matters most, but since she’s gotten well informed financially, you need to do the same.
TIP OF THE DAY
Weigh your feelings along with your finances over pre-nuptial requests.