Wife learns man was seek­ing more than ex­er­cise at the gym.

The Guardian (Charlottetown) - - FOOD - Abi­gail Van Buren Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my hus­band for 10 years. We were mar­ried six months ago.

Be­fore the wed­ding, we had some breakups. Dur­ing one of them, he dated another woman briefly. The en­counter led to her be­com­ing preg­nant, and she gave birth to a boy who is now a year old. I learned about her and her preg­nancy five months be­fore our wed­ding, but we have been able to work through it with in­tense coun­selling.

Last week, I re­ceived a Face­book mes­sage from a woman who ad­vised me that my hus­band had ap­proached her at the gym and said he was sin­gle, so they went on a date. Af­ter our wed­ding he stopped see­ing her, but con­tin­ued con­tact­ing her. She fig­ured some­thing was up, and found pic­tures of me and my hus­band on Face­book. When she told him she knew he was mar­ried, he stopped call­ing and tex­ting. She said she knew him for only a week and didn’t have sex with him.

When I con­fronted him, he said he had made a “mis­take.” He apol­o­gized and said it wouldn’t hap­pen again. He said he no longer sees her, but how can I ever trust him again? Please tell me what to do. — THE NEW MRS. IN KANSAS

DEAR NEW MRS.: Af­ter what hap­pened, I don’t blame you for dis­trust­ing your hus­band. He had ev­ery in­ten­tion of start­ing a sex­ual re­la­tion­ship with the woman at the gym, and would have if she hadn’t re­searched him.

The man you mar­ried ap­pears to have a se­ri­ous char­ac­ter de­fect. It’s up to you to de­cide if you are will­ing to tol­er­ate another “lapse,” should it oc­cur. Some women are will­ing to stay mar­ried to a wom­an­izer, but oth­ers don’t want to put up with the pain. I can’t de­cide that for you, but some ses­sions with a psy­chol­o­gist may help you make a well-thought-out de­ci­sion.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a girl in my early teens. Re­cently I at­tended a fam­ily gath­er­ing at my grand­par­ents’ home. While I was up­stairs alone, my 14-year-old cousin “Jared” asked to see my boobs. When I told him no, he im­me­di­ately made me prom­ise not to tell any­one. I’m afraid of Jared now and I need help. What should I do? — FREAKED OUT IN IN­DI­ANA

DEAR FREAKED OUT: Some prom­ises are sup­posed to be kept. Oth­ers can be dan­ger­ous. It is im­por­tant to know the dif­fer­ence. What you should do is tell your mother what hap­pened. Jared’s par­ents need to be aware so they can talk with him about ap­pro­pri­ate be­hav­iour be­cause his wasn’t, and he could land in se­ri­ous trou­ble if he doesn’t learn about bound­aries.

DEAR ABBY: Re­cently, my mother di­vorced her sec­ond hus­band (not my fa­ther). It was ugly. She has been down in the dumps, and I’m do­ing my best to con­sole her. She wants to get rid of his last name, which is un­der­stand­able, but she wants to change it to my mar­ried last name, so “we’ll all have the same fam­ily name.”

I think it’s kind of sweet. My hus­band doesn’t mind. A few fam­ily mem­bers think this is crazy. What say you, Abby? — LISA IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR LISA: Although it’s un­usual, if you and your hus­band have no ob­jec­tion, I think the other fam­ily mem­bers should stay out of it.

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Canada

© PressReader. All rights reserved.