Naughty Ot­tawa

The Guardian (Charlottetown) - - CANADA -

Co­me­dian John Oliver is tak­ing the res­i­dents of Canada’s cap­i­tal to task for their al­leged ex­tra-mar­i­tal af­fairs.

The host of “Last Week Tonight” chas­tised the in­hab­i­tants of Ot­tawa fol­low­ing a re­port that claimed nearly 190,000 peo­ple in the city were mem­bers of Ash­ley­Madi­, a Toronto-based web­site for peo­ple seek­ing af­fairs. It was hacked last week.

“Let me speak to Ot­tawa — Ot­tawa, you can­not let this skeezy web­site de­stroy your mar­riages,” Oliver said on his show Sun­day night.

“Don’t take this ly­ing down be­neath some mul­leted stranger wear­ing a wed­ding band. The city coun­cil of Ot­tawa needs to fight back.”

Oliver, who made a point to note that Ot­tawa was “known by lo­cals as the city that fun for­got,” ex­pressed his sur­prise at re­ports about the ap­par­ent pop­u­lar­ity of the site in the city.

“That’s half the mar­ried pop­u­la­tion there,” he said. “If you live in Ot­tawa, look to your left, look to your right, both of those peo­ple are on Ash­ley­Madi­ and so are you. That’s a fact.”

To pur­port­edly as­sist the city’s res­i­dents in stay­ing true to their spouses, Oliver’s show ran an in­struc­tional video of sorts, which mer­ci­lessly poked fun at the city, de­scrib­ing it as a “de­press­ing, frigid sh--hole.”

“Lum­ber­jacks turn off your chain­saws, hockey play­ers stop skat­ing for a sec­ond, boys, moose you just keep on moos­ing, this doesn’t con­cern you. This is for the mar­ried peo­ple of Ot­tawa, sit­ting at home, think­ing about hav­ing an af­fair. Don’t,” the video said.

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