Blues­man’s wife feels no love after fes­ti­val in­ci­dent

The Guardian (Charlottetown) - - ENTERTAINMENT - Abi­gail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: My hus­band, “Ray,” and I have been to­gether for 10 years and, like most cou­ples, we have had our ups and downs. Ray is a pro­fes­sional mu­si­cian, so a lot of my time is spent sup­port­ing this, ei­ther by pro­mot­ing his en­deav­ors or ac­cept­ing the fact that I will al­ways come se­cond to his first love — the blues.

A cou­ple of gigs ago, Ray played at an out­door fes­ti­val. So there I sat, in the rain, in the dark, watch­ing the show. Three men ap­proached where I was sit­ting and stood in a cir­cle around me watch­ing the show. At­ten­dance was sparse due to the weather, so it seemed strange they stood so close to me. It made me uneasy, but I have been in sim­i­lar sit­u­a­tions since be­ing with Ray, so I didn’t think much about it.

At home later that night, while I was un­wind­ing and lis­ten­ing to Ray com­plain about his fin­gers, I men­tioned the three men. He said he had wit­nessed it and thought it was a lit­tle odd, too. This led me to ask, hy­po­thet­i­cally, what he would do if he were on stage and I was be­ing at­tacked in front of him. He said he would put his gui­tar in its stand, go to the mi­cro­phone and ask for as­sis­tance for me. He wouldn’t throw the gui­tar down and rush to my aid!

I couldn’t be­lieve his re­sponse. I feel com­pletely alone and unloved. I don’t know what to think or what to do. Any ad­vice you could give me would be greatly ap­pre­ci­ated. — FACE IN


DEAR FACE: You are nei­ther alone nor unloved, and I se­ri­ously doubt your hus­band’s re­sponse to your hy­po­thet­i­cal ques­tion was an in­di­ca­tion that he doesn’t love you. It’s pos­si­ble that he was afraid he would not be able to ad­e­quately pro­tect you, and that Se­cu­rity could deal with the three men more ef­fec­tively than he could. Bear in mind that if the real thing were to hap­pen, he might re­act very dif­fer­ently.

Be­cause you are fear­ful, plan ahead. Carry pep­per spray when you at­tend his per­for­mances.

DEAR ABBY: My daugh­ter grad­u­ated more than two years ago. I of­fered to help her with her thank-you notes, but I dropped the ball and never got them com­pleted and sent out. I feel ter­ri­ble and guilty.

Would it be wrong to send out let­ters to ev­ery­one and ex­plain what hap­pened? Or how else can I re­solve this mess and put my con­science to rest? — PROUD MAMA IN OHIO

DEAR PROUD MAMA: The task of writ­ing thank-you let­ters was your daugh­ter’s re­spon­si­bil­ity from the start. She should send them out right away, with her apolo­gies. Bet­ter late than never.

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www. Dear­ or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. For an ex­cel­lent guide to be­com­ing a bet­ter con­ver­sa­tion­al­ist and a more so­cia­ble per­son, or­der “How to Be Pop­u­lar.” Send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus cheque or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Pop­u­lar­ity Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. (Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.)

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