Man is ready to shop around

A trip to a mar­riage coun­sel­lor might make more sense first

The Guardian (Charlottetown) - - COMMUNITY/ENTERTAINMENT - Abi­gail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been mar­ried for 17 years. For the first 16 years, my wife would make me lat­tes without be­ing asked.

Last year, she an­nounced she would no longer make any more lat­tes for me. When I asked her if she ex­pected me to go the rest of my life without one, she said yes!

Do you think it would be OK if I found an­other fe­male to make lat­tes for me? Wouldn’t that woman be do­ing my wife a favour? Hint: I am not re­ally talk­ing about lat­tes. — NO MORE LAT­TES IN KOKOMO

DEAR NO MORE LAT­TES: Be­fore out­sourc­ing your latte busi­ness, it is im­por­tant that you find out from your wife why her at­ti­tude has changed so dras­ti­cally.

Has she lost in­ter­est in that kind of bev­er­age preparation? Has mak­ing lat­tes become painful for her? Could there be other is­sues in your re­la­tion­ship that have made her less in­ter­ested in giv­ing you your fa­voruite treat?

If the an­swer to these ques­tions is yes, per­haps she should dis­cuss them with her doc­tor — or the two of you talk about them with a li­censed mar­riage coun­sel­lor. Hint: I’m re­ally not ad­vis­ing you about lat­tes, ei­ther.

DEAR ABBY: Af­ter 33 years of what I thought was a nearper­fect mar­riage, my hus­band walked out and filed for divorce. That was 12 years ago. Since then, I’ve done my best to move on and find my “next chap­ter.”

I’m now in the process of down­siz­ing to move into a smaller house. While go­ing through my fil­ing cab­i­net, I ran across some very sweet and touch­ing love let­ters my ex had writ­ten to me — some of them just a few weeks be­fore he left me. I am hav­ing a hard time de­cid­ing whether to throw them away or keep them.

I know there’s no per­fect an­swer, but any ad­vice you could of­fer to help me make that de­ci­sion would be ap­pre­ci­ated. It’s a sen­si­tive topic for me. — LOVE LET­TERS IN TEXAS

DEAR L.L.: I’ll bet it is. How does read­ing those touch­ing love let­ters make you feel? Be hon­est. If they bring back warm mem­o­ries, hang onto them. How­ever, if they have the op­po­site ef­fect, do your­self a favour, dis­pose of them and con­tinue look­ing for­ward into your next chap­ter.

DEAR ABBY: I live in a mo­bile park, and in the park is a group that col­lects money and runs fundrais­ers to help the low-in­come peo­ple who live here. They de­liver one bag of food to about 10 fam­i­lies once a month.

This group does not dis­close how much money was col­lected — ever — and are very se­cre­tive about how much they have in their fund. Some of us who live here have raised the ques­tion as to how much money they are hold­ing, but they refuse to give us any in­for­ma­tion. They say they are not a non-profit, so they don’t have to re­port to the IRS.

Is there any­thing we can do to make them tell us how much is in there? — MONEY MAT­TERS

DEAR MONEY MAT­TERS: There ab­so­lutely is. Poll how many of your neigh­bours feel the way you do, and then, as a group, stop con­tribut­ing money.

If enough res­i­dents do that, the money will dry up and the fund will close. Be­cause only 10 fam­i­lies need this kind of help, you and your neigh­bours should con­sider se­lect­ing fam­i­lies to help and do it di­rectly.

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