Tapped-out dad-to-be looks for an eco­nom­i­cal push gift

The Guardian (Charlottetown) - - LIFESTYLES - Abi­gail Van Buren Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are ex­pect­ing our first child. A friend of hers pulled me aside to ask if I had al­ready got­ten my wife a “push gift.” I have never heard of this, but ap­par­ently it’s sup­posed to be some­thing nice, like jew­elry, to cel­e­brate the birth.

We have al­ready been spend­ing a lot of ex­tra money to dec­o­rate a nurs­ery. In ad­di­tion, the de­liv­ery will be costly un­der our high-de­ductible health plan. Com­bined with the fact that my wife just re­tired from her teach­ing job, the ex­penses are start­ing to freak me out.

In light of this, what do you think of the idea of a push gift? Have you heard any good ideas for a low-cost but ap­pro­pri­ate al­ter­na­tive? — EX­CITED FA­THER-TO-BE

DEAR EX­CITED: A push gift can be a piece of jew­elry, your first “fam­ily va­ca­tion,” a piece of elec­tronic equip­ment for your wife or a piece of fur­ni­ture for the nurs­ery. Some cou­ples pre­fer some­thing less ma­te­ri­al­is­tic, such as help with baby care or money for the child’s ed­u­ca­tion.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 40-yearold man. I have worked at my cur­rent job for two years and love it, even though I earn only two-thirds what I did at my prior po­si­tion.

My prob­lem is, I think I’m in love with my boss. She’s an amaz­ing per­son — very sexy — and I can’t stop think­ing about her. The woman I loved died two weeks be­fore I took this job, and I’m still not ready to date again. Oh, my boss is mar­ried, so there’s no way I can hook up with her.

How can I stop hav­ing feel­ings for my boss? Should I just quit? I at­tempted to a month ago, but she gave me a raise. -CRUSH­ING IN MIN­NESOTA

DEAR CRUSH­ING: If you are crush­ing on your boss and fan­ta­siz­ing be­cause you think she’s “amaz­ing and sexy,” I beg to dif­fer with you. You ARE ready to date.

You say last month you were given a raise when you men­tioned quit­ting. It ap­pears you are a val­ued em­ployee at that com­pany. Be­fore you jeop­ar­dize a job you love and for which you are be­ing in­creas­ingly well com­pen­sated, I urge you to dip your foot into the dat­ing pool of EL­I­GI­BLE women. Now!

DEAR ABBY: A friend of more than 70 years passed away out of state. When I emailed a net­work of ac­quain­tances and asked about the cause of death, I got a nasty re­sponse from one of them say­ing my ques­tion was rude and in poor taste. Is such a ques­tion about a friend you haven’t seen in many years re­ally out of line? -- EX-KENTUCKIAN

DEAR EX-KENTUCKIAN: Peo­ple are nat­u­rally cu­ri­ous, and no, the ques­tion isn’t rude. Of­ten peo­ple are aware that the de­ceased has been ail­ing and don’t mind shar­ing the in­for­ma­tion. What WOULD be in poor taste would be to ask mem­bers of the im­me­di­ate fam­ily (his widow or chil­dren, for ex­am­ple) what killed their loved one, be­cause dis­cussing it in de­tail could be painful.

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