Gym client vents her anger at bad-mouthing by trainer

The Guardian (Charlottetown) - - HEALTH/COMMUNITY - Abi­gail Van Buren Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I work out at the same gym. Over the past sev­eral months it has got­ten back to me that one of the train­ers, “Bob,” has been talk­ing neg­a­tively about me to some of the other mem­bers.

My boyfriend works out with an­other trainer there, and dur­ing his work­out, I ap­proached him and his trainer and ex­pressed my anger about what Bob was do­ing. I said I was fed up and that I wanted to con­front him.

My boyfriend told me to keep my mouth shut and say noth­ing. He said I shouldn’t take it per­son­ally, that Bob is just be­ing a hater. He also said the per­son who told me shouldn’t have. I dis­agree. I don’t think it mat­ters how it got back to me — it did!

Last week, while his reg­u­lar trainer was away, my boyfriend trained with Bob! I feel it was dis­loyal, but he dis­agrees. He thinks I should just let it go. What do you think? — GYM DILEMMA

DEAR GYM DILEMMA: Be­cause the bad-mouthing has hap­pened more than once, talk to the man­ager of the gym about what’s go­ing on. Bob may not like you, but that doesn’t give him the right to make the gym an un­pleas­ant place for clients to visit. If your boyfriend were loyal, he would have told Bob to knock it off. And he would not have worked out with him when his reg­u­lar trainer was away; he would have cho­sen some­one else.

DEAR ABBY: My sis­ter-in­law lives in an­other state, so she of­ten mails my daugh­ter’s gifts to us af­ter she buys the items on­line. Then she ex­pects me to wrap them. The ic­ing on the cake? She’s now say­ing I need to add bows to these gifts, but she doesn’t send any money for the wrap­ping pa­per or bows.

I think this is very rude. My daugh­ter thinks her aunt takes the time to pur­chase these gifts, when she’s only press­ing a but­ton and that is it. With ev­ery­one shop­ping on­line more and more, is this a new trend, to have the par­ents wrap gifts in­stead of the per­son giv­ing them? — ON­LINE GIFT GIV­ING

DEAR ON­LINE: It’s only a trend if you de­cide to let it be­come one. Feel­ing as you do, it’s time you had a dis­cus­sion with your sis­ter-in-law con­cern­ing how you feel about this ar­range­ment and what you ex­pect from her.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 55 years passed away five months ago and I am lonely. How long should I wait be­fore es­tab­lish­ing a re­la­tion­ship with an­other woman?

A cer­tain lady and I go to church to­gether, so we are well ac­quainted. I never thought about be­ing with her un­til my wife died. She and my wife were friendly ac­quain­tances.

What is the right time to wait? Six months? A year? I never thought I could be lonely. Well, think again! — READY FOR THE FU­TURE

DEAR READY: There’s no timetable for griev­ing. If you feel you are ready for com­pan­ion­ship, all you need to do is pick up the phone and call the lady you have in mind. To do that is not dis­re­spect­ful to your late wife. It’s a trib­ute to the hap­pi­ness you ex­pe­ri­enced be­ing part of a cou­ple.

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