Abi­gail Van Buren

The Guardian (Charlottetown) - - FEATURES / COMMUNITY -

while my son’s father and his lady have their cake and eat it, too? I would re­ally ap­pre­ci­ate your thoughts. — HURT MOMMA IN THE EAST

DEAR HURT MOMMA: While you have ev­ery right to be an­gry, has it oc­curred to you that you may not only be griev­ing for your mother, but pos­si­bly be suf­fer­ing from post­par­tum de­pres­sion as well? Dis­cuss this with your doc­tor and ask to have your hor­mone lev­els checked. It might also ben­e­fit you to join a grief sup­port group. Your ex-boyfriend and his “lady” may ap­pear to have their cake and eat it, too, but it’s not true. They have each other, and both of them ap­pear to be mis­er­able peo­ple.

For the sake of your­self and your son, please stop al­low­ing them to make you mis­er­able, too. You have your beau­ti­ful child, and end­less pos­si­bil­i­ties lie ahead if you will open your­self to them.

If nec­es­sary, find a li­censed therapist to help you let go of the neg­a­tive and get your pri­or­i­ties straight again. Once you succeed in do­ing this, you’ll be fine.

We used to dis­play a wide va­ri­ety of fam­ily pic­tures on our liv­ing room walls. Be­fore re­paint­ing, we took them down.

Be­cause some of them in­clude our chil­dren’s former and cur­rent re­la­tion­ships, we can’t de­cide which ones we can com­fort­ably “re­dis­play” with­out of­fend­ing any­body.

We have re­mained on good terms with former in-laws and the chil­dren from prior re­la­tion­ships, but the “new” and the “old” never speak of each other, much less en­joy see­ing pic­to­rial re­minders hang­ing in our home.

Some of our grand­chil­dren are blood rel­a­tives; oth­ers are not. Our chil­dren have moved on to other re­la­tion­ships.

This is our home, but we don’t want to of­fend any of the peo­ple we wel­come into it.

Any ad­vice? – PICTURING IT IN ARI­ZONA

DEAR PICTURING IT: You are a sweet and sen­si­tive per­son. Talk to your chil­dren. Ask how they and their chil­dren would feel if you “edit” the col­lec­tion, and which ones they would pre­fer you re­tire. And be sure to of­fer the out­takes to them rather than toss them.

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