Play Me

The Gulf News (Port aux Basques) - - News - Harold Wal­ters Book Re­marks — Harold Wal­ters lives Hap­pily Ever Af­ter in Dunville, in the only Cana­dian prov­ince with its own time zone. How cool is that? Reach him at gh­wal­

Danny’s “al­ter­na­tive fact” claims that Muskrat Falls po­si­tions us for in­de­pen­dence from Que­bec in 2041 when we get to rene­go­ti­ate the Up­per Churchill deal. Noth­ing could be fur­ther from the truth. Muskrat Falls gen­er­ates 824 megawatts and the trans­mis­sion line to the is­land has a max­i­mum ca­pac­ity of 900 MW. There is room on the line for an ex­tra 76 MW. How does Danny plan to get the 5,400 MW of Up­per Churchill power onto a line that can only carry an ex­tra 76 MW? It is clear that the Muskrat Falls project and its trans­mis­sion ca­pac­ity has noth­ing what­so­ever to do with the 5,400 MW at the Up­per Churchill. Un­less we are go­ing to spend sev­eral more bil­lions of dol­lars (that we don’t have) on new trans­mis­sion lines, we will still have to deal with Que­bec in 2041.

Danny’s “al­ter­na­tive fact” claims that Nova Sco­tia doesn’t get any free power. The real fact is that Nova Sco­tia gets 20 per cent of the power from Muskrat Falls for 35 years and they send us no money. To get this power, Nova Sco­tia will build a trans­mis­sion line that they will own for 35 years. It’s ex­actly the same as telling your neigh­bour to buy an ex­ten­sion cord, plug it into your home and you will pay what­ever ex­tra it costs to heat the neigh­bour’s home for 35 years while adding the cost to your own light bill. But ac­cord­ing to Danny, that does not mean the neigh­bour is get­ting free power.

Danny’s “al­ter­na­tive fact” states that the cost of elec­tric­ity was go­ing to go from 11 cents per kilo­watt hour to 15 cents/ kWh even with­out Muskrat Falls. There­fore, the fi­nal cost of 21 to 22 cents/ kWh is only a few cents more ex­pen­sive, not dou­ble the rates as some peo­ple say. What his “al­ter­na­tive fact” omits is that the in­crease from 11 cents to 15 cents/kWh was based on a pre­dic­tion that oil would be $150 per bar­rel and we would also re­place the plant in Holy­rood. That is the sce­nario de­scribed in the doc­u­ments in Novem­ber 2010 when he first an­nounced the project.

In ev­ery case, a very dif­fer­ent re­al­ity op­poses the “al­ter­na­tive facts” sce­nario that Danny put for­ward. If noth­ing else, he de­serves credit for fol­low­ing the old adage, “don’t let the facts get in the way of a good ar­gu­ment.”

Mean­while, here in the real world, we’ll all strug­gle with light bills that will dou­ble, along with the in­creased taxes and fees from last year’s bud­get and forced ef­fi­cien­cies in many pub­lic ser­vices, such as snow­clear­ing. Then there are the large fi­nan­cial com­mit­ments we must keep that were made by Danny’s ad­min­is­tra­tion on our be­half so we can com­plete the money pit that Muskrat Falls has be­come.

New­found­land Power em­ploy­ees in the Port Aux Basques area have do­nated $10,000 for a new Triple In­fu­sion Pump for the Dr. Charles LeGrow Health Cen­tre.

The money was raised by the em­ploy­ees through fundrais­ers.

The pump will be used to de­liver chemo­ther­apy to can­cer pa­tients.

“We’re pleased to be able to make this con­tri­bu­tion on be­half of our em­ploy­ees, re­tirees, cus­tomers and part­ners,” said Gary Smith, pres­i­dent

and chief ex­ec­u­tive of­fi­cer, New­found­land Power, in a press re­lease. “En­hanc­ing can­cer treat­ment fa­cil­i­ties and ser­vices in New­found­land and Labrador has been an on­go­ing goal of The Power of Life Project and to­day we are proud to help sup­port can­cer pa­tients in Port aux Basques and the sur­round­ing area.”

Missus gave me a hard look the mo­ment I en­tered the house.

“Hope you haven’t been up the Trin­ity Bay shore again,” she said.

I could not tell a lie, so I stam­mered. “Well…er…ah…um,” I said. Missus con­tin­ued, “Up to Heart’s Ease weren’t you? Spying on that young crowd like a ho­p­less old fool.” “Well…er…ah…um.” “Look at you,” Missus said, “com­ing in the house all bright- eyed and bushy- tailed. Don’t ex­pect me to be­have like those young hussies up the shore.”

I scuffed back­wards, mind­ful of my arthritic hip.

Missus kept grum­bling, “Es­pe­cially that Nolan maid, just home from Toronto and al­ready ramps­ing around with that hard-ticket O’Dea boy.”

Missus had busted me, of course. I had been up the shore. There wasn’t much hap­pen­ing at the Heart’s Ease Inn as I had ex­pected so I’d dodged around the com­mu­nity un­til I got wind of the lat­est ac­tion.

Fiona Nolan, a brand new lawyer re­turned from Toronto, was in tack with — as in “tack­led up with” I s’pose — Dil­lon O’Dea, fa­mous lo­cally for play­ing both the gui­tar and the field and pluck­ing strings in ei­ther case.

I hid in the alders, so to speak, and peeped at the lusty ca­vort­ing in Play Me (Flanker Press), Vic­to­ria Bar­bour’s third Heart’s Ease Ro­mance.

I im­me­di­ately saw Fiona Nolan’s “great mass of golden red curls” bon­net­ing a nu­bile body that would breed envy in a buxom, video game Ama­zon.

Fiona — colour me a drool­ing ol’ lecher, but — red hair or not — I im­me­di­ately pic­tured Fiona Gal­lagher in my nog­gin.

Lynette Hil­lier, ex­ec­u­tive di­rec­tor of the Can­cer Care Foun­da­tion, said the triple in­fu­sion pump al­lows the can­cer care team to de­liver mul­ti­ple in­fu­sions Fiona Gal­lagher, feisty, las­civ­i­ous hero­ine of TV’s Shame­less.

A evoca­tive name isn’t bad enough. A bit far­ther along in the yarn, Fiona Nolan looks “like Lara Croft go­ing into bat­tle.”

Oh my, im­ages of young An­gelina bound­ing about in her bar-tight fight­ing gear fleshed out my im­pres­sion of Fiona Nolan as a woman who’d…

…you know not once did I think of Fiona the red-headed, green­skinned, ogre babe of the Shrek movies. Truly. Not un­til af­ter I’d fin­ished read­ing the novel any­way. Turn the page. It’s no se­cret (I can’t help my­self), Vic­to­ria has sprin­kled sug­ges­tive, risqué hu­mour through her pages. Surely plenty to tit­il­late puerile minds like mine.

Here’s some naughty gui­tar hu­mour, for in­stance.

When they are first “feel­ing pe­cu­liar” for each other, as Granny used to say, Dil­lon gives Fiona some gui­tar strings. Fiona thanks him say­ing, “I’m al­ways break­ing my G string.” The minx! When a man, a mu­si­cian, is en­chanted by a woman he some­times picks up his in­stru­ment — in this case a bodhran — and plays. Dil­lon O’Dea runs to a pa­tient at the same time, in a safe and con­trolled man­ner.

“Our thanks to the can­cer care pro­fes­sion­als at Dr. Charles his hand down the soft goat skin of the drum, closes his eyes and thinks “of Fiona’s skin”.

I’d hate to think Dil­lon con­tin­ues ca­ress­ing the soft goat skin and think­ing, “That’s a fine flank on her.”

Such a com­par­i­son would be a bit ex­treme, eh b’ys?

What’s not a bit ex­treme is “feel­ing pe­cu­liar” evolv­ing into phys­i­cal per­for­mance: “Fiona crushed her lips to Dil­lon’s as he pressed her against the navy blue pickup.”

Could a randy young buck ask for much more — a ripe, hot honey shuffed up against a fen­der?

For­give me, Vic­to­ria, if you didn’t in­tend this next bit to make me chuckle.

Con­sum­ma­tion is about to hap­pen. Dil­lon is “bear­ing down” on Fiona, strum­ming her, play­ing her like he might a gui­tar — or pos­si­bly a “goat skin” bodhran. Ul­ti­mately, Dil­lon heaves his hands aside and em­ploys his “po­lar op­po­site”. His po­lar op­po­site! Truly, I chuck­led. Here’s a ques­tion. What is Billy the Bard’s most fa­mous love story?

Cor­rect. The one about Verona’s star-crossed lovers, LeGrow Health Cen­tre for join­ing with us to en­hance the lives of those liv­ing with can­cer in our prov­ince,” she said.

The Power of Life Project is a part­ner­ship between New­found­land Power and the Dr. H. Bliss Mur­phy Can­cer Care Foun­da­tion.

The project raises funds for can­cer treat­ment equip­ment and sup­port pro­grams while pro­mot­ing early de­tec­tion and can­cer screen­ing through ed­u­ca­tion and aware­ness pro­grams.

Since 2002 they have do­nated in ex­cess of $2.5 mil­lion and helped many lives change for the bet­ter.

The Dr. H. Bliss Mur­phy Can­cer Care Foun­da­tion raises funds for treat­ment and sup­port­ive care pro­grams for can­cer pa­tients, funds lo­cal can­cer re­search ini­tia­tives and pro­vides con­tin­u­ing ed­u­ca­tion op­por­tu­ni­ties for staff of the Dr. H. Bliss Mur­phy Can­cer Cen­tre and af­fil­i­ated can­cer pro­grams in New­found­land and Labrador. Romeo and Juliet.

Part B of the ques­tion. What is the cen­tral con­flict sep­a­rat­ing Romeo and Juliet?

An­swer. Their fam­i­lies are feud­ing. Juliet’s fa­ther, Pappy Mon­tague, is across the stuff with Romeo’s fa­ther, Pappy Ca­pulet.

A sim­i­lar feud has been on­go­ing in Heart’s Ease ever since Adam was a cow­boy — an­other of Granny’s say­ings that I never quite un­der­stood. The Ka­vanaghs hate the Nolans. Dil­lon is a Ka­vanagh on his mother’s side. And Fiona is a Nolan. Dil­lon’s mother’s sis­ter…

For frig sake. It’s too snarled up for me. You sort it out.

Lis­ten, I could rave on for an­other five hun­dred words about the ro­man­tic fun to be had on­shore in Heart’s Ease or at sea in a rock­ing boat.

I could… but Missus just tapped me on the shoul­der and — de­spite ear­lier in­di­ca­tions — said, “Harry, I’ve been read­ing some of that Heart’s Ease book.” Fiona. My, my, my Fiona! Thank you for read­ing.


Pic­tured (from left) are Barry Fur­long and Justin Earle, New­found­land Power em­ploy­ees from the Port Aux Basques re­gion, with the triple in­fu­sion pump that was pur­chased through fundrais­ers.

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